People are annoying anymore and here's Why

I was pondering, one day, that maybe I'm just becoming a cranky person, the older I get.  It has become increasingly annoying to deal with people in 'modern society' anymore.  But then I realized that in this day and age of technology, people have become quite annoying and it's not my imagination. 

I feel like I'm living in the movie: 'Dumb and Dumber' and here are just a few reasons why.  We recently posted an item for sale on Craig's- list.  We posted: "No texts, phone calls only, please."  So people insist on sending a text anyway.  One person's response? "People text these days because it's easier."  Easier?  How is having to spell out words (which, by the way, no  one spells correctly anymore anyway) than picking up a phone and actually talking?  Stupid reasoning.

Let's talk the hiring situation these days.  Recently I've seen so much legalized discrimination, it's becoming pathetic.  How do I know this?  Well you tell me.  Example:  A person close to me recently sent out their resume to a company.  A day later, some woman calls leaving a voice mail saying: "I was looking over your resume.  I'd like you to call me because I have a couple questions and maybe see about setting up an interview."  So the person seeking a job calls back, no answer, he leaves a voice mail and no return calls.  He then calls the 'office number' where said woman claimed she can be reached and she is conveniently 'at a meeting, but will call back between 2 and 3:30'.  Right! No return call and the person seeking a job said:  "Well she heard a male voice and is Now brushing me off."  I have to say, he is probably correct.  For one thing, the hiring people, who are in charge, these days are so damned inept, the think they will find the perfect fit for any job.  Back in the day, if a person held a similar position, they were qualified for the position.  But now, hiring people are seeking purple unicorns that do not now, nor will ever exist.  Worse yet, I've talked to many people who say the person hiring for the company they work for, claim "No one wants to work anymore.'  Bull shit!  The hiring people are as lazy a bunch as they come. 

We go to family and friends parties and gatherings.  Guests used to be happy to see one another.  Now?  Well they bring cell phones and laptops and if you don't have a square face with writing across it, you get ignored and people are downright rude.  I'm also damned Tired of listening to other people's conversation in restaurants but Still they insist on yelling into their cell phones.  'Shut the hell up!"  

I'm not surprised, because the technology touted to be 'helping us' has Now become a crutch so people stay dumb as hell.  No one reads anymore, so no one knows history.  They tend to believe the crap spewed on the Internet, which is nothing but some one's misguided opinion.  We do not have famous news people anymore either, who Really report Real news, because everyone has Some sort of butt hurt they are babying and cannot handle reality.  Example:  We were walking in the mall one morning, when some young lady was jogging and pushing a stroller.  She came within two inches of hitting me in the back of my leg.  My husband made a comment about watching where she is going.  That bimbo (Yes, 'bimbo') had the nerve to approach us with a card about 'hurtful words.'  I said: "If you had hit my legs, the air would have turned blue.  There would have been a string of 'hurtful words.'  

So I'm convinced it's not me, society is becoming increasingly annoying.  Where are the Real people?

I'm Glad I'm Retired...Penn Yan

All over America the economy sucks and in small town, USA, it sucks the most.  I'm so glad I'm retired because lately I've seen that this new batch of hiring managers do not know how to hire.  Some say: "Well companies are looking for purple unicorns."  From what I've seen I really have no idea what in hell they are looking for.  I doubt they even know.  Most of them could not hire their way out of a paper bag, and yet, here we are, those dummies are the managers.  That's scary. 

I've lived in small towns, mostly, all of my life.  I think small towns, for the mot part, are safer than big cities.  But I've also known that when small town folk try to befriend you, it's because they just want to be up in your business.  I also know, for the most part, in order to get a good job in a small town it boils down to: "Who you know and who you blow."  Sad, but true.  

In a small town, if you have any kind of education beyond high school, when you go to an interview, you are immediately viewed as suspicious, by the hiring person.  They look at you as if you want their job, and from what I've observed, that would probably only be an improvement anyway.

Examples of small town interviews:  You have a degree, and because the jobs in small towns are limited, you apply for a job at the local convenience store.  They call you in for the interview and it goes like this: (Hiring person) "So you want to work here?"  (Job seeker) "Yes, I would like to."  (Hiring person) "You have a degree, why do you want to work here?"  (Job seeker) "What do you mean?"  (Hiring person) "Well you are educated, you are over qualified."  {Truth is: There is NO such thing as 'over qualified' either you can do the damned job or you can't.  {Truth is, if I am educated I can do that damned job.}  (Job seeker) "Well jobs are rather limited here and I applied."  {What the job seeker (Me anyway) would really like to say: "I want to work here because I have to pay for those frivolous things like food, clothing and shelter. Oh, by the way, are you telling me that you and the rest of the staff are stupid?"  Hell they sure are implying it. 

Truth is this:  None of those jobs are exactly rocket science and America has simply become sellers for cheap, Chinese goods, created in a sweat shop by slaves.  So stop acting like I've lived my entire life just waiting to be talked down to at this damned interview. 

Yeah, I have a degree which means I know that 2+2 still equals 4.  Got it?  I realize (From an entire life of observation) small town folk have to spell their last names correctly to be accepted.  Most of the jobs in a small town, I could bring in Joe Blow off the street and he could do your job just fine and dandy. In reality ( where few people seem to live anymore) hiring managers just do not want anyone who might make them look incompetent.  Not realizing all the while, as soon as they opened their mouth, spewing dumb questions, they already oozed incompetence.  Hell, a prime example of America's failed high school education system is this:  One day the cash register failed to work right in a Walmart (Meaning it did not give the answers on a silver platter to the cashier as to how much change I got back.)  So the cashier whipped out a hand held calculator and it took that clerk almost 45 minutes to figure out I got back a whopping 70 cents.  Oh my! 

Another good example is: Small towns sometimes have a college, you get a degree from said college, a job opens up at said college, you apply, only to find out they don't even like their own degrees enough to call you in for an interview.  Also said small town college, you leave the area to get a job within your degree to find out no one has even heard of you, outside small town.  The potential employer, in a bigger area, has to Google your name to see if you are even a real college.  (This is from personal experience.)  

Also example:  You apply, after moving back to small town, for a Social Work job at one of the local nursing homes.  You get called in for an interview and then they find out you were once a nurse aid at that same place, a few years before.  They have realized you got married, changed your name, so you scored the interview.  But (Here's the kicker)  you once were a nurse aid so you still must be stupid in their book.  When you go to the interview,and they had forgotten who you were, you get treated ( for the first time ever, with respect) when you were a nurse aid you were not treated with respect, although nurse aids are needed more than Social Workers, in my book. Also I've written a book about how awful traditional nursing homes really are.  One person at the interview actually said: "I suppose you'll write about us?"  Why would I when you already fit the category of 'traditional nursing homes suck'?

So while small towns might be safer, I'm retired now and could care less about a job in one, they also have major flaws.  Most flaws are, they are too conservative, too tight knit and too provincial for their own good.  It's why they fail to ever progress.  While this is my opinion, it is based on personal experience living in Small Town USA. 

The Trouble with Penn Yan New York

Penn Yan schools are facing low enrollment lately.  Is it any wonder why?  Penn Yan has become an area where jobs have all but left yet rent and home prices continue to soar beyond the reach of the average family.

I moved to Penn Yan in 1970 when it was once a great place to live, work and raise a family.  Any towns not open to attracting families will, in my opinion, eventually become just a shell of it's former self.  Exactly what is happening to Penn Yan.  When rentals are $1,100 a month and yet the area offers no decent paying jobs, then families will not move here.  There is nothing but high prices and low paying jobs these days.

Where would a person work?  Some low paying service related hotel job?  A low paying waitress job?  A low paying nurse aide job?  None of these jobs pay nearly enough to support a family on.  Seriously, Penn Yan.

What used to be here?  MICHAELS-STERN & CO.: Was a clothing company, employing many people in Penn Yan.  They closed their doors in the late 1970's.

Penn Yan Express was once a thriving trucking business in Penn Yan, NY.  No more.  

Penn Yan Boats, no more.   Left, taking jobs from Penn Yan. 

We once had a nice Super Duper grocery store, now since its closing, we have nothing there but an abandoned building, hoping for a buyer.  Good luck there.

Lowns was once a very nice department store in Penn Yan, then it became a nice place of booths to buy charming items.  Wonderful place for tourists to shop too.  No more.

Since 1970 I've seen businesses dwindle in Penn Yan, housing prices reach sky high, and no more affordable places, especially houses to rent that might attract families wanting to raise kids here.  Sad, but true.  No wonder Penn Yan school enrollment is fading.  In 1970 there were so many families raising kids here the school district ended up building several elementary schools.  Now the Branchport one was sold to some business that simply neglects the grounds and cannot seem to mow their grass.  That business has ruined the once immaculate grounds.  Nothing but a weed patch lives there these days.  

In the 1990's you could, any given day in summer, go to Red Jacket Park and it would be teeming with multiple families. cooking out, swimming and people actually boating on Keuka Lake.  Now, any given day, anytime of year, and the parks are all but dead, devoid of families doing anything anymore.  So sad.  There is a new building that says: Penn Yan Tourism on it sitting next to a park that contains no tourists anymore.  

Penn Yan is a nice town, but the powers that be here have no clue how to attract families with kids anymore.  They do not even know how to attract jobs that pay enough to pay your rent or even buy food.  So sad.  What happened, Penn Yan?

If you think you will become Lake Placid, well, I sincerely doubt you will.

PTSD Penn Yan and Crooked Lawyers

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       PTSD, crooked care providers for the elderly and crooked lawyers all have a lot in common.  I have been championing the cause of the elderly for some years now.  With over 70 million Boomers in America, it has become a big past time of far too many people to find ways to swindle them.     

The use of crooked lawyers and judges has gotten out of hand when it comes to swindling elderly people.  It helps place a legal slant onto the stealing while disregarding any moral obligation on the swindler's or the lawyer's conscience.  The crooked lawyers are the ones who give decent lawyers a bad name and are the reason so many of us hate lawyers and think of them as blood suckers.  Certain lawyers should be disbarred for helping bad care givers steal an elderly person's property and assets.  It might be legal in black and white on paper, but it is a moral injustice that our society does not seem to find offensive, unless, of course, it is their friend or relative on the sharp end of the swindle stick.  For some time now, I have wracked my brain to figure out how our society has managed to produce a huge generation of people who either have no conscience at all, or who manage to seer their conscience to the point of no return.   It is what can be labeled as a crime of opportunity and of course, money above morals, which seems to be the fabric of our society anymore.  Always, always follow the money trail.  The trail of those fake care givers who are never satisfied with their salaries, but who seek to steal everything the person in their care owns.  It's a disgusting practice at best.

When my family, namely my children, were swindled, it all came home to roost and it pisses me off that this is going on all over the place.  Large cities, rural areas and small towns across America.  In my book, those crooks should be placed in jails for the thieves and robbers that they are.  Older people tend to be too trusting and when they need care in their homes, well, fake care givers have them over a barrel,  They divide and separate them from their children and seize the opportunity to relieve them of their assets.

In the case of my children's dad, suffering from PTSD made the golden opportunity for his fake care provider, just that much easier.  Since PTSD makes it easy to plant seeds of doubt in the sufferer's head, it is just that much easier to separate them from family.  The golden opportunity for the thief.  In this particular case, the care giver and her sister-in-law seem to be partners in crime.  I could easily name them in this blog since my kids have papers naming the two crooks and the crooked law firm in Penn Yan, which, by the way is a matter of public record because a will has to be recorded.  I just may name them all in my new book, but, for now I will tell you this.  My ex-husband, Ron Gage, owned a house in Yates County and it also is a matter of public record who owned the house and who sold it.  Check those records and for God's sake, Do Not hire that woman to care for any elderly person you know.  She is a thief of the highest magnitude, devoid of any conscience at all. 

In my ex-husband's will, which is a matter of public record, the fake care provider and crooked lawyers, name her sister-in-law as the next in line to be given his house in case of the demise of the original crook.  Wow.  do you find this reprehensible yet?  Well you should.  So beware, Penn Yan.  Look up the public records and steer clear of ever allowing this low life care provider to watch over your friend or relative.  Like having the fox guard the chicken coop.

I will not rest until this person is out of a job and placed in jail where she belongs.  My next to youngest son obtained a lawyer to get his dad's personal belongings from his house.  Guess what?  Her crooked lawyer must have advised her to steal and remove it all and claim Ron gave it away earlier.  Liar!  When my son got there, the house had been stripped and there had been a surveillance system in place, but suddenly that system and any tapes were mysteriously gone too.  What a crooked Bitch!  

Beware, Bitch.  I will have my kids hire a private investigator very soon.
                                            

Paranoia with PTSD runs deep

Paranoia:      baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others.


We all fear something in our lives, but with PTSD the fears are usually excessive and often baseless.  Imagine going through your entire life never trusting a living soul, not even members of your own family.  This is the world those who suffer from PTSD live in.  I could have easily said: "Welcome to my world" whenever someone would ask me: "So, what's wrong with Ron?"  

As a young woman, Ron often was jealous and always suspicious of me.  If I was later coming home from the grocery store than he thought, often due to weather or long lines, he was jealous.  He was certain I had met up with some other guy and he often flew into a rage if I disputed his accusations.  When dating, mild jealousy seemed flattering to me.  But after marriage, it was anything but and it grew worse as time wore on.

Once we divorced and I remarried, left to his own devices, Ron didn't fair well on his own.  Being alone left him with too much time on his hands, too much time to think and to imagine all sorts of things that were not true.  He got married, for about one minute, to a woman who was apparently not good for him.  From what people told me, she had her mental issues too and was looking for someone she thought had money to support her and to possibly inherit if Ron should meet his demise.  The demise part is the operative word, in her case.  While married, Ron allegedly tried to shoot himself.  He missed and shot himself in the neck leaving an almost mortal wound.  He had texted the Yates County sheriff's department, telling them to come find his body.  Once he was wounded, it seems the new wife did not bother to call 911 on her own.  All the people I talked to have expressed the opinion that maybe, just maybe, Ron did not shoot himself, but had help.  When someone has PTSD, it is very easy to work on their mind and to place all kinds of notions in their head.  They are quite vulnerable to suggestions, good or bad.  Small town Penn Yan is full of opportunists of both genders, so it didn't take long for them to crawl out of the woodwork.  The oddest thing was the woman he married just so happened to have been married to another man who committed suicide by shooting himself.  Odd, isn't it? 

Ron ended up in the hospital in a live or die situation and his children took the reins and made sure that bad union was dissolved by way of an annulment.  She allegedly had tried to remove money from Ron's banking account, but unsuccessfully.  All this took place after he had received his big retroactive settlement of money for his service related disability.

Our oldest son and his wife moved in when Ron recovered and went home, so they could care for him.  That worked out pretty well, for a while.  But, the paranoia took hold once again, partly due to his PTSD and exacerbated by his now permanent, injury from the shooting.  He finally accused our son of all sorts of unfounded wrongs and told them to leave his house.  They did.  After that, Ron went through a series of VA visiting nurses, they lasted for a while and he would always fire them due to his trust issues.  He ended up distancing himself from all of his family of origin as well as his children, certain, in his head, they all were not to be trusted.

This is where the elder abuse started and where a private caregiver and her sister-in-law worked their way into Ron's life and home under the guise they could be trusted caregivers.  That fact could not be further from the truth.  So, for some reason, Ron hired the caregiver and stopped trusting the VA nurses who were trained in caring for him.  but remember, it is very easy to work on the mind of a person suffering from PTSD and apparently that is exactly what the private home care worker did.

Two years before Ron supposedly committed suicide and succeeded, this private worker started working there.  Well, once Ron was dead, his children found out that this private worker must have planned to steal his house and everything in it from the minute she walked in his door. We know this because the date on his new will was about the time she started working there.  she wasted no time in enlisting a crooked law firm in Penn Yan to have Ron make out a new will,  Ron was in bad physical shape, so she conveniently had those crooked lawyers come to his home to make out a new will.  It is no coincidence that the worker and her crooked sister-in-law made themselves sole benefactors of everything Ron owned.  Lock, stock and barrel.  She had, in two years, successfully convinced Ron his entire family was not to be trusted.  So divide and conquer was her M.O.  

Last summer, Ron supposedly was able to purchase, over the Internet, a black powder pistol and shoot himself in the head.  Seriously? His sisters and mother told us that Ron had the use of only one hand, walked with a cane and his other had suffered such spasms that he could not hold anything.  Now this guy, in this condition, supposedly was able to load a black powder pistol, with a ramrod, hold it to his head and shoot himself?  We all find that hard to believe.  But conveniently, the worker had a bout of amnesia, because she could not recall the children's names or phone numbers to call his family until three days after his death.  By the time the kids found out, she had also conveniently sent his body to be cremated, thus vanquishing all and any evidence of how he really was able to commit suicide.  Now of course, the State Police and Yates County Sheriff did not call for an autopsy, all botched any and all investigations and all of this sounds mighty fishy to all of his family.

Our oldest son had to hire a lawyer to obtain personal, family items.  He could not get any contents of the house because the worker and her sister-in-law had wiped out everything from the home.  This is a case of elder abuse, if not assisted suicide, which, my friends is as illegal as murdering a person.  Why was there no investigation?  Why was there no autopsy done?  Why was it three whole days Before his children were notified of his death?  Ron also had our son install surveillance cameras and video. ALL of which mysteriously disappeared.  Strange?  To say the least. 

Upon our own investigation, we have since discovered that this worker had also obtained another house and property from yet another unsuspecting elderly client.  Our son also found out from his lawyer, those crooked lawyers in Penn Yan who Claimed Ron was of 'sound mind and body' when crippled and suffering for YEARS from mental illness, had been named in another dispute of aiding someone else with stealing from another family.  

All of this is going into my latest book and my family have not concluded our own investigation into this suicide that smells like a rat in the wood pile.  Time will tell and hopefully we can pick up the ball the authorities seemed to have dropped.  

The conclusion of this blog is this:  If anyone you know suffers from PTSD, Never, Ever allow them to push you away.  Always stay in close touch because as they grow older, elder abuse is SO EASY for those private home health crooks to swoop in, place notions into the sufferer's head and Steal Everything they can get.  Stay focused and Stay alert. But believe me, my children are Not finished with this investigation.

PTSD does not exist

Having been told for years that PTSD did not exist, you tend to think maybe you have the problem.  But when you see your kids being terrorized, as well as yourself, in a marriage, from Hell, you know it's bull shit they are telling you.

Over the years, the systems that were in place, offered no help at all for what we went through.  A Vietnam Vet, slash, counselor, even drove to our house from the VA.  He had the gall to tell us that PTSD did not exist and that my ex never saw any fighting in the region he was fighting in.  I wondered what that guy had been smoking, but then, he got paid to parrot the bull shit lies. My ex's employer simply thought he was nuts and tried to humor him over the years.  But, finally after 26 years working there, the sons took over the business and first order of business was to fire Ron.  Can't say as I blamed them.  So we set out to help him get disability.  He had to go to hours and hours of counseling, like they hoped it would cure him or something.  There is no cure, to my knowledge.  I helped him when I was divorced and single, but finally I decided to have a life.

It was not my mission to babysit my ex and give up having any happiness myself.  I met and married, my present husband, who, surprisingly enough, is also a Vietnam Vet.  But we have been married for 16 years now and I've learned that all Vietnam Vets are not nuts.  PTSD vets are not nuts either, they suffer from a problem caused by being in a war zone.  

After I was married, Ron finally won his service related case.  But it took him years and lawyer fees to do so.  Unfortunately Ron became easy prey for not only strangers, but his own brothers and sisters, who came begging for loans and hand outs.  The saga of the two women who entered his life is the subject of the next blog.  Penn Yan certainly is full of opportunists who are very willing to take advantage of someone who is mentally susceptible to those who like to manipulate others.  In fact, it turned out, both women are experts at taking anyone with houses and money to the cleaners.  The first one was hoping to kill him, the second one pretty much did.  Penn Yan sheriffs are inept at any kind of investigations.  But, perhaps, the sheriffs department was tired of dealing with what they considered, crazy Ron.  But I think they are lazy and cover up stuff in order to not have to work hard at their jobs.  The sheriff and the VA both dropped the ball and allowed a veteran to die. 

Still in Vietnam

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The book featured here is appropriate for this blog series.  While my husband, Steve, is not still in Vietnam in his head, his book reflects memories of a forgotten war.

Being a forgotten war, with no heroes lauded from it, no decent home coming, and Americans, including the U.S. government, wanting to brush all memories of it aside, one can tell how veterans of that war feel.  When a Vietnam Vet suffers from PTSD, it is doubly hard due to the factors mentioned above.

My ex had his head in Vietnam.  So much so, in fact, he constantly mentioned what a raw deal Vietnam Vets got from it.  A war where for the first time in a very long time. the U.S. government decided to force young men to fight a war that many felt unjust.  It wasn't the soldiers' fault they had to go kill people in a country most of us never heard of before.  It wasn't their fault they laughed and jeered at the saying "Land of the free."  How in Hell is it freedom to be forced into servitude or face prison?

My ex felt such remorse, it just penetrated his thoughts all the time.  With PTSD a veteran often feels like the job was unfinished.  With no real home coming, there was no closure for their service.  No gratitude and no thank you.  Ron often expressed how he wished he had 'eaten it in Vietnam.'  As time went on, suicidal thoughts grew worse.  Every day, little problems most of us face, became blown way out of proportion and I always found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I just never knew what chain of events would cause the shoe to drop.  Something big or something small?  I never could tell until it happened.  

There came a day when I grew tired of it all.  Tired of the tension, the verbal and physical abuse and our family began to really show signs of strain.  I got tired of calling Yates County Sheriff, who did absolutely nothing anyway.  I made a trip to Social Services only to be asked by the head worker: "Can't you just make up?  Our caseload is heavy right now."  I learned, over the course of time, you can either be abused at home, or abused by a system that really does not care. To this day, I see 'Stop Domestic Violence' as a mere slogan, a cause of the week once a year.  Why?  Well women and children are killed year after year in spite of the supposed awareness going on each year when agencies display their cute little token ribbons.  

The first time we had major problems that spilled outside of Ron's comfort zone, namely his closed doors where he could terrorize us, we ended up in family court.  Family court is nothing but a zoo.  You can go for your scheduled appointment, sit there in a crowd for two hours and then be told your case has been postponed for a month or two.  See what I mean by picking where you want to be abused?  This behavior is supposed to help families?  Hardly.  When we finally did get our day in court, I was told by the judge that I needed to go to counseling.  Why wasn't the abuser court ordered to go?  I was told by the judge: "You need to go to counseling to help you learn how to handle your family problems."  A bit ludicrous to put it mildly.  So when I see people bitch about 'people on welfare and food stamps' I want to smack them.  They have no empathy and no idea what they are talking about.  Women and children are using the system.  They do not want children to be clothed, fed, have medical care or a safe place to live?  Apparently not.  Those who bitch about 'those damn freeloaders on welfare' have the audacity to say "stop domestic violence and child abuse' out of the other side of their mouths.  

You have to also remember that for many, many years, PTSD did not exist in the eyes of anyone.  But then, they did not live in my house either.  The suicide talk, the abuse, the talk of how Vietnam just wasn't fair, tends to grate on anyone's nerves over time.  The PTSD sufferer blames everyone for their problems, especially those people they claim to care for.  They take problems, even small ones as some kind of personal assault, directed at them.  They are angry most all of the time, every minute of the day.

While it can be hard to live with someone suffering from PTSD, the constant thoughts of suicide makes it hard for the PTSD sufferer to just plain live. 

The nightmare for families begins

After marriage, we bought a home in Yates County, NY.  It was a small house, cozy and nice.  But immediately the happiness of a new marriage and new home was short lived. I had two children when we married, this was not anything my new husband did not know about.  In fact, we were engaged twice because the year before we married, I broke off the first engagement.  My gut told me something was not right with him.  I was not madly in love and I was worried a step parent might not be good.  I learned, the hard way, to listen to my gut.  It has not been wrong.  We broke up and I did not hear from Ron Gage for months.  I was happy and then, out of the blue he paid me a visit at my parents' house. He brought a present for my daughter, trying to get in my good graces, no doubt.  So my kids were not any surprise to him.  My parents convinced me this gift was a good sign.  A sign of a responsible man.  Boy, were they ever wrong.

In our new house, Ron would come home from work always in a bad mood.  I do not recall any night he ever was happy with anything.  He picked on how I kept house, my cooking, my parenting skills.  If I had spent the entire day cleaning, he would literally look for something that wasn't perfect and start a rant about it.  He'd bitch every night until bedtime.  All the time I tried, and of course failed, to be the perfect wife.  He would often compare me to his friends' wives, saying all of them were better wives than I was. 

Often he would get pissed at work and quit.  We would go without money and food until I went down and applied for food stamps to feed my kids.  In the small town of Penn Yan, NY this was another nightmare.  Those workers were not only unsympathetic, I would get lectured, like it was all my fault he quit his job.  He would fly into a rage at work and quit.  We were fortunate his employer would take him back, but not until months passed and we were almost destitute.  I recall one time he flew into a rage, he was abusive, physically and verbally to me and the kids and I went to Social Services in Penn Yan to try and leave him.  I got: "Can't you just go home and make up?  We are swamped with cases."  Heaven forbid they got off their asses and did the paperwork.  Needless to say there was no help there and to this day Penn Yan still likes to cover up it's major flaws.  Trying to make people think it is a perfect little town.  

When I would call the local sheriff department the cops would also try to talk me out of pressing charges.  One cop even said: "Well, Ron. I can sympathize.  My ex-wife is a real bitch too."  Not only did my then husband, work on all their cop cars, many would come to the house to smoke pot with him before they were cops.  Many others, who later became prominent business men there, would also come to his pot parties.  So he was in their good ole boy circle pretty well.  This isn't slander, it is fact because I was there and yes, knew all their names.  But in little town, USA, it is swept under the rug.  This is what many little towns do.  You must spell your last name correctly or you are out of their good graces.

One particular incident, when Ron was violent, he took his shotgun down and said he was going to kill himself.  I said nothing.  Then he turned, pointed it at me, held it to my chest and said: "Maybe I should just kill you instead."  I thought I was taking my last breath.  When I was able to call the sheriff's department, one of his cop cronies arrived and, thank goodness, the one and only female sheriff on the force arrived too.  The male cop claimed there was not sufficient evidence to arrest Ron.  I guess threatening to kill your wife with a loaded gun was not cause enough.  The female cop allowed me to press charges and he was arrested.  But not without much arguing about the situation.  People can say 'that was then and there is more awareness now.'  Seriously?  Everyone talks about it, in larger cities there are women's shelters.  But even then, in shelters, they cannot have their animals and their whole life is disrupted.  I suppose that's society's way of blaming the victim. I see domestic violence as not much more than the cause of the month, once a year. Small towns have no shelters for abused women, yet they do have animal shelters.  It seems small towns are more sympathetic to animals who are homeless and abused than to women and kids who are.  Social Services workers certainly are not trained well enough to deal with domestic violence, not in small towns anyway.   While Penn Yan liked to boast they had 'safe houses' those houses are so far out in the boonies and most abused women do not own cars.  So how do they get groceries, find a job or run errands?  Many are lucky to escape with their lives.  Later I will discuss how shabbily Social Services and family court treated me and my kids.  I wish this 'system' could get its priorities straight. 

Many people have no idea just how violent those suffering from PTSD can be.  Sometimes the veteran's co-workers are killed, sometimes entire families are killed.  Even if not killed, lives are in shambles and children are scarred for life.  Not always visible scars, but emotional ones, those that are harder to heal.  To this very day, not enough is being done for veterans and their families who suffer every day.

Veterans who never come home

Veterans who never come home.  No, not those who are killed but those who die in spirit and personality.  Those who return in the flesh, but who never fully return to their former civilian lives.  Those who have left their minds in the war zones, and their spirits have become disheartened.  Seeing people killed on a regular basis is not something the human brain can fully wrap around.  Seeing people who suffer, or may be tortured, or may be children, old people and civilians who did nothing to deserve death or torture, takes its toll on any human mind and is forever burned into memory.  

At 20 years old, what do any of us know about life?  Certainly not I, a young woman living in a small town.  A woman raised by her grandparents, raised 'old school' raised in a sheltered environment.  My grandparents grew up during the Depression and when the 1960's rolled around, they had a difficult time with what looked to them, like the youth and the world had gone completely mad.  Young people were adopting new norms and casting off the old ones their parents and grandparents had known and embraced for so long.  Hard for the older generation to comprehend.  The adults were certain that America's youth were spoiled rotten and had lost their minds completely and thoroughly.

Tough times for young people too.  Many new rules were put in place to keep us in place because adults felt rules were the only weapon they had to make us toe the mark.  Places such as schools were having a hard time embracing the new thinking and piled more rules onto the already long list of rules.  Rules like: Guys who had hair touching their collars would be sent home until they got a more 'reasonable' haircut.  Girls could not wear skirts or dresses that did not touch the floor when on their knees (I kid you not) or they too would be sent home to lower the hemlines.

Girls were beginning to want more from the world they felt was 'sexist' and decided to attend collage in droves, taking courses they actually intended to use in the workplace once they had a high school diploma.  But small town schools did not keep up so well with the new ideas.  I remember going to see the guidance counselor who, of course, was a guy, just before graduation.  I remember him telling me: "Well, looking for a career is probably a waste of time.  You, like most young women, will probably just get married and have some kids anyway."  I was dumbfounded,  any ideas of further education shot down before I even got started.  Having been sheltered as the youngest in the family, I wasn't trained to open my mouth and argue with him.  I felt disheartened. That was a sign of the times.  

My grandparents, who adopted me, were growing older.  The biggest thing on their minds was to 'marry the youngest child off.'  It was all they talked about and they never fathomed a woman could be single and take care of herself.  So the first guy who was nice to me, after high school, was on their radar sights to marry me off to.  I had wanted to attend airline stewardess school, but my parents discouraged me with 'we could never afford that' talk.  They knew nothing about financial aid and the guidance certainly never talked about it since he did not encourage women getting any further education.  So, right after high school, my parents convinced me to get a job and a car, for the short time I would be single.

Come to find out, the guy they were pressing me to marry would become my worst nightmare.  He was abusive and a narcissistic psychopath.  He was suffering from PTSD but what does a woman at the ripe old age of 20 know about that?  For years and years my family went through a living hell, but after all, you cannot get anyone help for a condition that supposedly 'does not exist.'  As a young woman, I began to wonder if it was me who had the problem, since he would point out it must be me with every abusive statement from his lips.  

After marriage, we moved to the small area of Yates County, near Penn Yan, NY where his job was.  From the get go, the nightmare never let up.  We constantly walked on egg shells and for a long time, covered up the shame of physical and verbal abuse.

Small towns, such as Penn Yan, offered no help in those days because the Sheriff's department in small towns was a 'good ole boy'  from way back.  My husband worked on all their cars and, what was I accusing him of; how in hell could this nice man be abusive?  So whenever I did call for help, I got a constant barrage of 'well, what did you do to set him off?'  They refused to arrest him, but then, they did not live at my house.  He was always able to pull it together long enough at work to appear to be a nice guy. 

Penn Yan a monster in the community

The mystery of my ex husband's death in Penn Yan, New York continues, part two:

Penn Yan, a small town in the Finger Lakes Region of New York State, looks much like any other small town in America, but it has a secret.  This sleepy little burg is harboring a predator. This predator has struck more than once and will strike again until someone places it in a cage, behind bars.

This predator was in charge of taking care of my ex husband and my ex husband, due to a suicide attempt five years ago, was missing part of his brain, therefore making him incapable of rational decisions. This vile monster was only in his employ for two short years.  This predator preys on the elderly and the infirmed, stealing their money and their property.  I cannot give you the name, it's a female and her initials are Kilo Alpha.  A warning to Penn Yan residents:  If anyone with these initials is now taking of your elderly or sick person, fire her, check her background, Immediately!  Put her out of business.  This monster is being investigated by professionals and when this story breaks and she is behind bars, I will name her because it will be a matter of public record.

My ex husband, after the first suicide attempt, was left paralyzed on his left side and his right hand was prone to spasms.  Now an inept law enforcement claims he bought a muzzle loader pistol in the mail and was able to load it using one hand only, a hand prone to spasms.  Seriously?  My educated guess is: This monster was a part of assisted suicide, since she was the sole beneficiary and had the only vested interest in his death.  Assisted suicide is illegal.  This Kilo Alpha monster was present when he supposedly shot himself.

The facts:  He sold this monster his house for one dollar.  Yet he continued to live in the house for two years.  My guess is she grew tired of him living in her house and helped him along to his death.  There was no autopsy, which definitely should have been done after a suicide.  Inept police work always annoys me. It tells me one of two things: 1) the police are too damned lazy to do a proper investigation 2) they are just so dumb they could not catch a cold, much less a monster in a very small town.  Which is it?

A monster so cold, so calculating she cold bloodily either gave him the gun, helped him purchase the gun online and then helped this crippled man load the gun because he didn't shoot himself while he was alone, as so many people usually do.  He waited to shoot himself while she was present in the house?  Come on now.

This Kilo Alpha woman is working in Your community, Penn Yan, and will strike again and again until she is placed behind bars.  My family is not sitting still for any of this.  This is not about vengeance, it is about justice, it's about protecting a small community from a monster so vile, she is a black widow in it's lowest form.  What sort of low life takes care of the elderly and then brings a lawyer's assistant to his home to convince him to give her his house?  The lowest of the low.  

This vile monster couldn't wait to start cleaning out his house either.  It seems that, even before the body is cold, she has been loading up her vehicle with the contents of the house.  Local law enforcement claims a muzzle loaded pistol purchase, online, cannot be traced.  Wrong!!!!!!!!!  There Are ways and Everything is traceable. 

If nothing more, this vile monster will find out she has picked the wrong family to pull her scheme of death and inheritance.  

Penn Yan: BEWARE of those who prey on the elderly in their care

Available on: Amazon.com

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This month's events in my own life, have driven home, to me anyway, some of the reasons why I wrote this book.  Perhaps the elderly are of no concern to many people in the world. But if you have an elderly loved one, or close relative, this should be a hot topic to each and every one of you.

 The event I am describing here took place in small town America.  Specifically Penn Yan, New York.  We all like to think we might be safe in a small town, and that might have been true in the past.  But when it comes to the elderly in modern day America, they are safe no where.  There exists a band of people in America who make a living preying on the elderly.  Small town Penn Yan is no exception.  Here is what happened and here is how authorities in small towns botch investigations because it is a 'Good Ole Boy' club all the way around.

Just a week ago, my children's father supposedly committed suicide.  I say supposedly because without a thorough police investigation, I'm skeptical and here is why.  First off this man has been mentally ill, on record, since about 1996.  He was receiving disability and counseling for his mental illness since that year up to his death in July of 2014.

In about 2008 he won a settlement from the U.S. Army for a service related claim of PTSD and from then on, received a monthly disability payment from the U.S. government. The retro settlement started a chain reaction of not only a vulture type woman who tried to take advantage of him but his own family of origin, brother and sisters, preying upon him because they all thought he 'had money' as the typical saying goes, which is pretty disgusting by itself.  Then, one day, after seeing a piece in the local newspaper about some of his woodworking crafts being featured in a magazine, the first female opportunist contacted him.  She contacted him under the guise of 'being interested in his crafts' while all the while she was practicing her craft of preying on an elderly person.  This one even went so far as to convince him to marry her.  Apparently once she discovered his family of origin had just about wiped out his large retro settlement, she was not happy.  The next thing I know, my youngest son got a call that his dad had attempted suicide.  All the years I'd been married to this guy (16 total) he had never actually pointed any gun at himself and pulled the trigger.  The spaciousness of this is the fact his, then wife's former husband had committed suicide a few years prior to this incident.  Coincidence? I have my doubts..  He ended up in the hospital and this marriage was annulled, ended before it lasted even six months.  Now, small town, small potatoes sheriffs dropped the ball then in any investigation.  I suppose, like too many other police departments, it's easier to just drop the ball than to actually do their jobs and investigate.  Too much paperwork I imagine.

When my ex husband returned home from the hospital from the suicide attempt, our next to the youngest son and his wife, moved in to take care of him.  The entire time they were caring for him, he never again attempted suicide.  But as time wore on, my ex husband started to drive away his family : from his brother and sisters to his mother, culminating in him telling our son and his wife to move out of his house.  He went through a series of nurses, firing them all until, one day, he somehow met this last vulture.  This last vulture was not really any nurse, as far as I can find out, but just some young woman (age 31) who takes care of the elderly in their homes for pay.  Upon his death we find out that under her care, barely 2 years, she had convinced him to make her in charge of his remains upon his death.  He supposedly succeeded in committing suicide under her watch and his body was suspiciously cremated just two days later, conveniently covering up all evidence and denying his family the option of an autopsy.  None of his children, including the one who lives in the Penn Yan area, were notified of his death until two days later, after the cremation had taken place.  This vulture claimed she didn't know of any other children and for some reason, the local sheriff saw fit to not contact his son who lives in that area.  Who is covering up what?  You decide.

She alone made sure, two years ago (exactly when she started to take care of him) she took him to the local funeral parlor to sign papers, in advance, for his cremation and NO Death Notice in the paper.  Interesting, isn't it?  But, oh it gets better still.

In those two short years, she not only convinced him to set up a prearranged cremation funeral arrangement, she convinced him to change his will.  Just guess who inherits all of his estate?  You guessed it, this vulture. Did she plan it all?  I'm suspecting so.  But in New York State, when making a will, you cannot hide your blood children.  They have to be named and they are supposed to be contacted and given a copy of said will.  Now, mind you, she claimed she had no idea where the children lived.  (Bull shit!).  Once I got wind of all this cover up attempt, I made damned sure my kids called that lawyer and let them know their names and addresses so none of them (lawyer included) had any excuse to try and screw them.  I have no doubt this is what's happening. So while this vulture thought she covered her bases, she has not.

The best part of all this is after his supposedly first suicide attempt, it left him paralyzed on one side, he walked with a cane thereafter and his hand on the other side was prone to spasms so bad he could not possibly hold any gun to kill himself. Now remember, just two days after his death, his body is conveniently cremated, burning all evidence.

 I have encouraged my children to pool their money and hire a private investigator.  The investigator not only needs to look into the suspicious nature of this convenient suicide, but to investigate the local sheriff's department and the botched investigation from their office, but to investigate the caregiver and the fact that this guy could not hold a gun.  Yes we do have her name and address.  

Final note:  My son and I need to find out what sort of gun was used because the son who was caring for him before the snake in the grass started her home care, ALL guns had been removed from the premises.  How did he obtain a gun? If the weapon of choice turns out to be a handgun, where did he get it?  This is a man who was denied any handgun permits due to prior domestic violence charges.  The stupid sheriff department told his sister he 'might of gotten it through the Internet'  Do we Not have an ATF department looking into sales of guns on the Internet, those guns having to cross state lines, or crossing into America from another country?  ALL of this need to be investigated by a PI and investigated quickly.  His kids are hopping mad and this vulture will, if nothing else, Will find out SHE has picked the wrong family to pull this with.   

     

      

  

 

What frosts my cookies about Penn Yan

Recently the town in New York where we used to live, experienced a devastating flood.  The flood put many businesses under water and in some cases, put workers out of jobs due to the damage the rising waters caused. The town was even deemed a disaster area by NY State officials.

My grandson lives and works in Penn Yan.  The business he works for laid off most of the workers indefinitely because their equipment was damaged so there is NO work right now.  He has applied for unemployment and in the meantime, the stupid landlords he rents from, have told him he has one week to move out.  Now, mind you, his rent wasn't due until today...............so landlords think they can do whatever they damned well please in Penn Yan and also play upon a person falling on temporary hard times due to no fault of their own.  If anyone is to fault here, it would be Penn Yan for being too cheap to have up to date infrastructures, namely decent storm drains to handle extra water.  

It's dumb landlords like this that led us to leave the Penn Yan area.........slumlords who tried to rent out houses to us that weren't even up to code......slumlords who never fix their slums yet think they can charge a fortune for rent............believe me, there is Nothing in Penn Yan worth a fortune.......LOL

But the bottom line is this: Stupid, stupid landlords in Penn Yan have a lot to learn about the law.............and I hope my grandson knows that if those idiots keep calling him without a legal eviction notice, he should call the cops and have them for harassment, which is also illegal.

To top it all off?  Those dummies even told him he has to 'be out' because they have new tenants moving in this Saturday.  I understand it IS Penn Yan, but their utter stupidity never ceases to amaze me, even for There!!!!!!!!!!!!