I am old lady

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Yes, I will admit I'm not a spring chick anymore.  When I arose this morning, I was able to wander around my house at five in the morning.  I turned on my computer, made a pot of coffee and played with my cats.  I was able to look out my window to see what kind of a day it was going to be and I pretty much was able to 'do my own thing,' as they say.

It may not sound like such a big deal, but if you are living in a traditional nursing home, believe me, this kind of freedom is as 'big of a deal' as you're going to get.  I wasn't made to get out of bed at six in the morning, I chose to get up at five and if I didn't want to get up, I didn't have to.  In a nursing home you will be forced to get out of bed for breakfast at six in the morning. Why?  Well it's always, always for staff convenience.  

When I was a nurse aide, I was told:  'We have to get them up and ready because the day shift will get mad if we don't.'  So screw the day shift is my response.  The day shift has 'so much to do already.'  So?  They get paid for their efforts. (Even though I know nurse aids don't get paid near enough for all they do)  I have worked the day shift and yes, people have appointments, they need breakfast and it's pretty busy.  But that still doesn't warrant dragging my old ass out of bed at that god awful hour, especially since all night I've probably already been poked and prodded, so now I've had very little sleep.  No wonder I'd be groggy and upset at being drug from my warm bed. The night shift people would hurriedly dress those old people, all the while saying: "Come on, we have to be in the dining room shortly."  Many elderly balk at being hurried.  Hell, you'd think they had some damned job to get to, instead of paying big bucks to be hurried and shuffled to the dining room like so much cattle.  Traditional nursing homes are full of damned rules.  Rules that, for the most part, are quite meaningless in my book. 

Once they do get into the dining room, they are greeted by nurses with med carts.  Now nowhere on any prescription bottles I've ever gotten, does it say: 'To be takes in a large group at times convenient only to nursing staff.'  My bottles say: 'To be taken at XYZ time of day.'  That medication is supposed to be individualized, for that particular patient.  But, remember, all of this is for staff convenience only.  Which pretty much assures that I'm no longer an individual.  Just part of a herd of cattle.  Kind of like when a farmer milks cows the same time, all at once, in a big group, every day. 

When it's time to shower, also for staff convenience, you will be wheeled into a stall, and the experience?  Well more akin to a car wash than any showers I take in my home.  That Big shower wand, it gets lifted from its holder and a waterfall of water is washed over your head, your face,your eyes, your body.  I'm sure this might be how water boarding feels like.  Getting old and showering, equals torture.  Now imagine, if you will, you have dementia and have no idea what's going on.  I'm sure you would be combative too.

Today I'm going to the local store to pick up some things I need.  In a nursing home, especially the one I worked at as a Social Worker, a place that doesn't even own a van for such trips; that is also a big deal.  That nursing home feels it's too big of an expense to have a van to take people to the stores.  Too expensive to own, even though that facility, as all nursing homes, rake in billions of dollars.  But, gosh, don't spend any of those big bucks on people living there.  

So as you go about your day, just think of all the little freedoms you are enjoying.  Remember, those freedoms will evaporate if you have to ever live in a traditional nursing home. 

Why doesn't someone do something?

I hear, quite often: "Why doesn't somebody do something?"  Americans seem to have forgotten they are someone.  Too often people sit back, waiting for someone to step up and 'do something.'  It's a good thing that people like Martin Luther King didn't wait for someone to do something.  He, as did many great names in history, realized they were somebody and they did do something.  Have I driven this point home yet?

I see 'celebrities' (using the term loosely here) like Perez Hilton, getting a lot of looks on their blogs because fashion, stupid famous actors and the like, seem to be foremost in people's thought.  Way too much so. Young people think they will be young forever, never grow old and nothing like old age happens to them.  Ha Ha!

When it comes to nursing homes, too many loved ones will say 'why doesn't somebody do something?'  The loved ones are somebody, they pay the bills at the nursing home, making them very important somebodies.  I used to hear many complaints as a Social Services Director, about how the nursing homes were run.  Sometimes they were families just wanting special treatment for their loved one, but the complaints were always genuinely true.  Why shouldn't all residents get special treatment anyway?  After all, they pay enough to certainly warrant special treatment.

What can loved ones do to help change the traditional nursing home environment?  

1)  They can get to know other families who have loved ones living there.  Once they get to know others, they can get together once a month and draw up, write things down, take notes and present the Administrator with their concerns.  Remember, as loved ones, you can make a difference, safety in numbers.

2)  Request small steps in making the nursing home a culture change place.  Where to start?  Well ask why the damned nursing station cannot be moved to an office and not placed in the middle of each wing.  

3) Ask why all the rooms cannot be private rooms so your loved ones do not need to undress in front of a stranger all the time.  Nursing homes can charge just a bit more and still make a good buck.  Do you invite strangers into your room to undress in front of them?  Probably not.

4) Ask why a choice of meals cannot be offered to your loved ones.  When the dietitian decides, the meals are bland and unappetizing.  Cannot imagine why your loved one refuses to eat.

These are just simple starters.  The private room one is big because everyone should have access to the window, not just the person lucky enough to have a window bed.  The removing of the nursing station immediately removes the obstacle people have to try to maneuver in wheel chairs and with canes.  Since the nursing stations are usually off limits to people, it immediately establishes the staff, not the paying customer, is in charge.  People living there pay the bills, not the staff.  Why should staff call the shots?

I hope this blog gets through to people who feel frustrated by traditional nursing homes.  Remember, it does not have to be that way.

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Social Work in a nursing home

 

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Social Work in a nursing home can get tricky at times.    Many, many times, even the Administrator gets confused as to what is right and what is legal.  

For instance, one place I worked had a man living there who was a flaming alcoholic.  He would periodically decide to leave, go on a drinking binge with his old cronies and simply walked out of the nursing home to do so.  He was prescribed medications to curb his alcohol craving, but sometimes the cravings proved to be too great and he wanted a few drinks.

One evening, just before dinner, he walked out of the place.  One of the nurses noticed him missing and came to my office.  The next thing I knew, the Administrator was in my office, demanding I 'call the police' to have him brought back.  I tried to explain to the Administrator that since the guy was coherent, which meant he knew exactly what he was doing, the police would not drag him back, kicking and screaming.  Sometimes you have to explain that nursing homes are not prisons.  Some staff members think all residents have to adhere to all rules, like a jail, not so.  Now a nursing home can, and sometimes will, kick out a problem resident, but they cannot just kick them to the streets without making arrangements for their safety.

The Administrator didn't like that I refused to call police to drag him back.  She picked up the phone in my office, called them and then hung up a few seconds later.  I asked her what the police said.  Her reply: "They said what you just told me."  Uh Huh.  The best they could do was a well being check, not much more.

I would get told, often, by other staff that: "So and so cannot call a cab to go shopping, go home or for other reasons."  I beg to differ.  I'm telling you that they can do that.  The nursing home is supposed to be their home, not a prison by a long shot.  

If anyone does go home, AMA, against medical advice, Medicare can cut them off for services for a time and all you can really do is call Adult Protective Services to check on their well being.  Not much more if that elderly person is coherent and knows what they are doing.  

When a nursing home tries to act like a resident does not have the same rights they have in their own house or apartment, you must explain to staff that they do retain those rights, like it or not. 

Social Work in a nursing home

 

What does a day as a Social Worker in a nursing home look like?  I did not say typical day because there is no such thing as a typical one.  Each day is unique in itself.

First thing in the morning, all nursing homes have a morning meeting.  This is with the department heads, all of them, so the administrator has an idea what each department will be doing that day.  It also gives the administrator a chance to tell any department if they want something looked into or done.  Literally, each department head, when it's their turn, says what they will be doing.  Mostly I found it a time for nurses to ask if Social Services could change someone's room, for whatever reason, or if a resident requested a change.  Many times nurses expected us to convince a resident to change rooms or accept a room mate.   Whenever we got a new resident, the facility didn't place people together who might be compatible, they just looked for an empty bed.  As you can imagine, many residents were not happy over that situation.  This is one reason NO nursing home should have two people to a room.  Someone doesn't get a window and probably no access to the existing windows.  Many times you will face irate relatives who do not want their loved one's room changed, or who does not like the room mate.

Changing a room is not just a simple task either, you have to get a permission paper signed by either the resident or the responsible person, which is not always easy.  Then you have to place a copy of the paper in the chart and chart the reason why.  Even with the new electronic paperwork, it still has to be filed someplece and charted.

An example of charting:  Resident requested a room change due to:  then you fill in the blank.  I always charted what resident said or did, or what their responsible person said or did.  Mostly state examiners only care how the resident views things.

A behavior example:  Resident is distraught and complained about (fill in blank) or resident got into a shouting match with room mate, or hit another resident.  The hitting is where it can get complicated.  You Must check on the one who got hit, plus the hitter.  Maybe the hitter has dementia and didn't know better, or just has a bad temper.  You absolutely have to follow up, talk to the hitter, then check on the one who got hit.  You have to write what you did, and will do, to prevent anymore incidents.  Usually the nursing home's solution is to drug the hitter.

As a Social Worker you absolutely have to know when a resident's psychotropic medication is changed.  This can get tricky if the nurse asks for a change and does not bother to tell you about it.  This can happen in the middle of the night, without your knowledge.  You should be sure you have a form and request a nurse Always makes it out whenever there is a change.  Good luck on that one.  But if you do not know and do not chart it, believe me, You will be held responsible for not knowing, nurses usually toss you under the bus.

You have to know, because once a powerful psychotropic med is started, then You have to  ask, that nurses request the doctor to reduce it until gradually, the resident is off the med.  Then you have to chart if the resident is doing fine without it or not.  If not, you must have the doctor write why the person has to have the meds.  Crazy, isn't it?  Yup, it is.  Then You have to describe how resident acted without the sometimes needed, medication.  

I'm going to Warn you, in a Medical Model nursing home, staff feels it is easier to medicate a difficult person than it is to try other alternatives.  There usually Are other alternatives, but they take team work and cooperation from other departments. 

I don't tell you this stuff to scare you off.  But I think every Social Worker deserves to go in with eyes wide open.

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Social Work in a nursing home

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Working in a nursing home, these days, means an ever increasing mountain of paper pushing for Social Workers.  State examiners come in once a year and think they can know everything you have been doing in your job by checking out the paperwork you have on file.  Even with the advent of electronic paperwork, you will find yourself trying to keep up to date with case notes and the time sensitive MDS reports that need to be submitted almost daily.  That MDS remember is Minimum Data Set which is supposed to be a quick way for the facility and state examiners to 'know' each resident's likes, dislikes, their daily habits and so forth.  But MDS reports are also how nursing homes get paid.  It is tied in to Medicare payments for each resident. 

Case notes, it is safe to say you should almost write a book on every conversation, every incident you handled and anything from how a resident looked to how they responded to your interventions.  Why a book?  Well examiners seem to want every trivial detail about each interaction you, as a Social Worker, has with each person living there.  So even if you think something might be trivial, include it anyway.  This way an examiner may still ask you questions about it, but you will have every detail already recorded for your own benefit.

Some wording of case notes can be important too.  For instance, we could not write 'resident appears to be frowning' since, sometimes some residents appear to have a permanent frown on their mouth.  We had to write: 'resident appears to have a furrowed brow' which to me, seems ridiculous at best.  

Another good piece of advice:  If you are questioned by an examiner, never, ever, volunteer any information.  It is best to only answer questions asked of you, point blank, no elaboration.  Why?  Because I saw a facility get a bad write up in the Social Services department simply because a Social Worker played Chatty Kathy and 'remembered' an important part of an incident she was questioned about concerning a resident.  She suddenly remembered something she failed to write in the case notes.  The department got written up and had to write a plan of correction (which believe me, is a nightmare in itself).  That Social Worker became so upset she resigned.  I was hired to 'fix' the situation.  So do not volunteer any information.  If you recall something important about an incident, make a note of it later in the resident's chart, but do not act like you forgot it when it happened, when questioned by an examiner, they will crucify you on the spot and tag you as a bad Social Worker.  Call it self preservation.  Are you trying to put one over on the examiners?  No, they just like to blow anything out of proportion.

I recall hearing college students, just before graduation, say: "I feel like college didn't teach me everything I need to know for a job."  They didn't.  College cannot possibly teach that stuff because every Social Work agency is different and you have to learn their policies on the job.  With nursing homes, policies vary from nursing home to nursing home within the same state, even within the same city.  Administrators will tell you to 'read their policies' but that damned book is so thick you can hardly lift it.  But my advice, if you cannot read it all in one sitting, and believe me, you can't, then when something arises you may not have encountered before, look it up then, as you need to.

A good example is: Most facilities' policy when someone has even just talked about any kind of suicide (I hate myself, I no longer feel like living this way) is to send that person out for a psychological evaluation.  Can a facility go over board and act irrational about those kinds of things?  Emphatically, YES!  We had a resident in our facility, short term, for therapy and would be going home in a few weeks.  One day, while talking to a nurse, he made a mistake and used a wrong word.  In jest, he made his finger look like a gun and pointed to his head, with a smile.  Something you and I do all the time, jokingly because we knew we said something wrong.  I got 3 reports, within five minutes that Mr So and So was acting suicidal.  Of course he was not, but staff panics about covering the facility's collective asses.

These are just a few fun projects you will face when you apply to be a Social Worker in a nursing home. 

Social work in a nursing home

This is how I kind of view some new social workers

I know this is really not a nice thing to say, but I do view new social workers as being 'by the book and inexperienced' which, in turn, makes me question their empathy when dealing with people.  

For example:  I had an interview at a nursing home in my small town of Penn Yan a couple of years ago.  I was grilled for 4 hours, one would think I was applying for a job and was in front of the senate ethics committee.  So I figured, gee they must be really careful and choosy about their social workers, that is, until I met the social worker in their employ at the time.  She showed me around, even though I'd been a nurse aide in this nursing home before, and she said to me: "Nursing home social work is not a difficult job at all."  I, in turn, wanted to reply: "Then you aren't doing the job right."

Why would I want to say that?  Because while there are social workers in all packages, some are good, some not so much.  Yes, one can put in their 8 hours a day, doing what the big wigs want in any agency, or, they can actually do their jobs right and work for the client's best interest.  The first type of social worker is a dime a dozen, the second kind is hard to find.

Personally I found it exhausting to do a good job when everyone in a nursing home is a social worker, or at least they think they are.  We had a Social Services sign on the door, but it might as well have read: Complaint Department.  Now I know the director of nursing thought her department got lots of complaints, but then, nursing ignored them all and nothing got better.

Social work in a nursing home is draining because we got all kinds of things dumped on us.  We'd get 'behavior complaints' concerning an elderly person's behavior even if it consisted of the person complaining about no one answering call lights in a timely manner. 

 Now, personally, I think call light issues were a nursing problem, but everyone else thought it was a social work problem.  I'd direct the complaint to nursing, just to be ignored, have it tossed back to me, telling me it was a flaw in the elderly person's character.  I guess no one has a right to complain about nursing in a nursing home.  That is the main problem with nursing homes run on the medical model.  Nurses just do as they please.  

Social Services also got an office full of things residents left behind when they died or went home, WE had to call, call, call and find out if they or the relatives wanted the items.  Social Services was asked, by maintenance, to call and tell families if their loved one's chair needed steam cleaning, we also were asked to call and tell relatives if the resident's closet was too full.  Just busy work junk on top of the regular jobs we had to complete.   Much of our work consisted of the MDS (minimum data set) this minimum data is supposed to show we knew the resident by asking stupid questions.  Much like a job application where the interviewer does not know you at all, but they attempt to know you by reading a five minute piece of paper.  Just can't be done.

Nursing and therapists are the little darlings of a medical model nursing home.  I see, even now, in our local paper, the nursing home here lauds the medical people with special, huge ads.  While those are needed, never mind the social worker who: set up in home care, when needed, set up your oxygen tank services so you can breathe, set up meals on wheels so you won't starve and set up your link to life so if you have an emergency you can call for help easily.

Most times, families would send a thank you note to the nursing home thanking only nurses and therapists.

If you have a loved one in a nursing home, remember, as long as it is run on the medical model, it's NOT a good nursing home.  It's NOT home, it is a damned hospital disguised as a nursing 'home.'   If your loved one has meals on wheels, or any in home services, don't forget to thank a social worker. 

If you are a person going into nursing home social work, remember that you work for the resident's rights, not the rights of the nursing home. 

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Is your family prepared?

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With so many Boomers growing older, it is becoming a big concern about what a family should do in case Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa or anyone in your life who is elderly, may need more help with activities of daily living.  

Many people will, out of necessity, choose a nursing home if the person needs round the clock care.  Yes, many will feel pangs of guilt when having to choose this route.  Unfortunately we, as human beings, are great at living in a state called, denial.  Having said this, far too many, probably most, people never consider checking out nursing homes or alternative care, until it is absolutely necessary. It can and usually does, get sprung on families more often than you might think.

For instance, I have seen quite a few elderly people break a bone, end up in the hospital and then have to enter a nursing home while undergoing therapy.  Hospitals, in this modern era, have a habit of not keeping the elderly patient more than a few days, so it is highly possible your elderly loved one can, and will be sent to a nursing home to recuperate much sooner than you think.

Countless numbers of those elderly patients will enter a nursing home for therapy, plan on going home, then discover that the therapists recommend they stay, never to return home.  It is usually either for safety reasons, or the person is too frail to care for themselves, they may be forgetful and not able to discern things like placing a tea kettle on a stove, using a burner to cook and often times, forgetting to turn the burner off.  Or maybe staying alone, especially nights, that person may not be able to leave their home in case of any kind of emergency.  Nearly every time the elderly person who planned to go home was told it wasn't recommended, they and their families were thoroughly stunned and unprepared for that kind of news.  Are you prepared?

Remember too, you have options if this happens to you and your loved one.  Before you get old, even though you might think you will always be young and vibrant, it is important to think and appoint, a medical proxy and a power of attorney before you need one.  In both cases, pick someone you can trust with your life, literally.  Be sure to have medical decisions you want to have happen in case you are unable to talk or sign papers, in writing, have them notarized be sure you and the person you choose, each have a copy as well as a lawyer.  Being incapacitated can happen at any age not only to the elderly.  

I also want to stress that the people you place in charge do not have to be a family member.  You can choose a friend if you trust them more.  Be very choosy because I have seen POA's run off with bank accounts, make decisions that the unconscious person might not have agreed to and I've seen POA's seize property, only to see the elderly person recover and find out they were stripped of everything.  One poor lady's niece was given POA powers then cleaned out the lady's checking account and then left the state. While you might say: "That could never happen to me."  Be assured that lady was saying the very same thing in my office.   

Hopefully you will be prepared for such things.  Remember, it's never too early to plan ahead. 

Why a nursing home blog

There are many nursing home books usually written by frustrated nurse aides and wannabe loser health care workers.  So why did I write a book, why do I write this blog, why would I want to add my small voice to the movement?

Many of those books are just watered down complaints that have no intentions of changing anything.  They are written so as not to offend anyone in the industry.  If they are still working in the industry, and I have a sneaking suspicion most are, they give a watered down version of truth because they are afraid of being found out, of losing their jobs.  Screw that!

I have no problem telling everyone about these kind of jobs working for the wonderful American medical field and what it is really like.  Yes I've changed names to protect the innocent and I don't relish any legal litigation because some twit in the industry was offended. 

I hope you will return and enjoy this blog and will read the book also.

Nursing Home Diaries

     
                              When life seemed so simple



Morning meeting went well, the Administrator laced out the maintenance assistant in front of a crowded room of coworkers.  We all felt that one, the look on the guy's face made us all cringe.  This Administrator is quite a shrew, she lit into him much more than was necessary.  Other days she has reamed out nurses and dining staff.  Ruling with an iron hand, she thinks if she puts fear in our hearts she has the upper hand.

I pick up my tablet, behavior sheets from nurses and aides and my pen after morning meeting, I can't seem to leave that room fast enough.  Back in the office I look over behavior sheets.  One says a resident, here for rehab and who is quite alert, complained about not getting taken to the bathroom fast enough.  I don't know how many times I tell nurses this is not a behavior, he has a right to complain about crappy service.  

We have to read these sheets every morning at meeting and when I got to the one concerning the lady who wants a room all to herself and freezing, then roasting her room mate out, the Administrator says: "Can't we send her someplace?"  Sure, I'll send her to live with you.  The lady wants a private room and she is acting bitchy to the room mate.  There is no cure for bitch.  The woman hates it here, I don't blame her one bit for that.  I do feel sorry for the room mate, but then, if nursing homes weren't so greedy, they would not have 2 people assigned to one small room.  Can we send the rich owner someplace? 

A fear of growing older

 The biggest fear most people have of living in a nursing home, other than having to be uprooted from their present home, is losing the important things that contribute to our quality of life. The basic day to day decisions we all take for granted living on our own in the community. 

 People also have a fear being placed out of sight when they go to a nursing home and no longer being a part of a community. Having and being able to make our own choices is what keeps our quality of life in tact and people have come to understand nursing homes usually mean adhering to their rules and having someone else make our decisions without consulting us, or worse yet, making decisions for us entirely. 

 Maybe nursing homes have improved a bit since the 1930’s when, before then, no elderly people were well taken care of in any programs. As late as the 1960’s I recall my parents talking about the ‘poor houses’ for older people and how it was a place to be avoided because apparently it meant people were destitute who had to go there and the treatment of older people in those dreaded places was awful.

Still to this day, many conventional nursing homes resemble large hospitals and for many elderly, seem more like a prison where rules abound, not like any home they have ever known. These places make elderly people feel they are now being punished for not having a lot of money to afford help in their own home, and they feel like they have committed the crime of daring to grow old, and worse yet, being punished for needing help in their daily lives.   

 The older nursing homes where people are housed two, or more to a room in order to make even more money for the owners, represent to residents not only being uprooted from their long time home, but now having to share a small space with a virtual stranger.  

People are not paired up in those facilities according to compatibility but paired up according to the space available and for the staffs’ convenience, especially if they have similar medical conditions. Homes that do pair more than one person to a room, all of them say they want people to bring furniture and personal belongings from home, yet do little or nothing to really encourage this in reality. 

 In other words, when entering one of those facilities, people now have to give up everything they owned, be uprooted from their homes and have the added insult of getting used to a new living environment and a room mate they may or may not like. The possibility of getting a room mate who has a TV or radio they want to blare late into the evening or having habits they find hard to deal with is very high.

It is safe to say that approximately 90% of people who enter a nursing home for therapy, did not ever plan to live there long term. Having lived in denial, as most of us do, it did not occur to them that it may be deemed as unsafe by the therapists for them to be able to live safely in their own homes anymore. This can be a big blow to many elderly, especially those who are used to being very independent, to now have to face the reality of living in a nursing home. With many hospitals discharging elderly patients early to nursing homes for therapy, it can be difficult to convince elderly patients to go to places for needed therapy. As one lady once said; “you tend to go to one of those places and never come back.’

Nursing homes have to absolutely change and change quickly and steadily begin moving towards a more home like atmosphere. I see no reason why the really good, caring facilities should only be a luxury for those elderly who can afford to pay out of pocket for the good treatment.

 Culture change and good treatment should and must be available to all residents in every nursing home in America, regardless of their pay source. Every elderly person has worked hard all of their life and all deserve to be treated with compassion and respect, regardless of their source of pay to the facility.

It is my belief that all nursing homes, for profit, not for profit, those of sole proprietorship and those owned by corporations, can move in the direction of culture change without losing money, and without having to tear down their existing buildings. It is also my belief that all people living in nursing homes are owed this change and deserve this change because it creates a home like atmosphere, not a hospital one, for people to live their lives in dignity. I believe every person is entitled to be treated as an individual and with respect.

Piece of advice when working a nursing home

Something that was always a source of annoyance when I worked nursing homes, was when staff would grab a resident's wheel chair.  They would grab the chair and think they had a right to move it aside if the chair was in their way.

Wheel chairs, to a person using one, is like an extension of themselves.  Grabbing a wheel chair is the same as grabbing you by the arm, or the same as me shoving you aside as I walk down a hallway.  Don't do it!

I've seen it happen way too many times and then seen the look of surprise on a staff person's face when the wheel chair bound resident got mad.  I'd be mad if you shoved me aside too.  

It may seem like a little thing to those of us not using a wheel chair, but it is not a small thing to a person in that chair.  Every nursing home should make staff people take turns spending a whole day having to use a wheel chair just to see what it's like.  Walk a mile in my shoes?  How about, spend a day in my chair?

When you cease to be a person anymore

I’ve worked with the elderly population for many

years. I’ve worked under different titles, worn a different hat, I believe it’s called. I’ve been a home health aide, a certified nursing assistant (that title makes it sound so dignified) and, most recently, I have worked as a Social Services Director in a nursing home. Both nursing homes and home health agencies are a billion dollar industry and I’ve seen what money can buy for the owners in this industry. The money buys the owners a mansion with a pool, a fancy car (a new one each year, in fact), a nice membership to a nice country club and the money pads a nice fat bank account for them.

If you are elderly and in need of the services offered by home health or a nursing home, you too, get to spend big money. The difference in all of this is that your big money, spent, does not buy you much in the way of luxury.
You will get to spend around $1,800 a week, in a nursing home, for room and board and another $1,000 or more, each month for any medications you might need, and nursing homes make sure you darn well need medications, and lots of them. Your money buys you, or to be more exact, rents you a small section of a small room, if you’re fortunate you get the window side, and you get to share this small side of a small room with a complete stranger.
You will also, in a traditional nursing home, get lots and lots of rules. This is because most nursing homes have been designed and set up, for the benefit of the staff members, not the residents, who simply get to pay for all of this.
I recently read an excerpt from a book about nursing homes that compared nursing home care to the fast food industry. I beg to differ with that analogy because for $1,800 per week, I could buy a franchise. In fast food I at least get food I like and good service, usually, in return for my money. I will, however, admit that just like the fast food product, the product I will pay for in a nursing home, is just as bad for me.
In this billion dollar industry, as a home health aid, I was paid what the instructor of the course liked to refer to as ‘good money.’ She was referring to the $6.50 an hour we aids would be paid. For that $6.50 an hour we got a whopping 30 hours of work a week and also got to drive miles and miles to each client’s home, paying for gas from our big paychecks. I have no idea on what planet $6.50 would be constituted as ‘good money’ but certainly not this planet.
As a nursing assistant in a nursing home, I was paid $8.50 an hour, which is also not very good pay. So of the several million owners and corporations make, the workers are not paid well and the residents absolutely do not get what they pay for. But keeping people alive is the name of the game. Alive for profits in the form of Medicaid and life savings and the problem is, in a human warehouse, the quality of care, for all of the money flowing into those places, is abysmal.
I worked last, in a nursing home in Indiana, but I’ve worked several nursing homes over the years and have also worked in nursing homes in New York State. The traditional, medical model ones are all the same. Just places to park your loved one and not much more for all the money paid there. I know many aids who grumble and rightly so, when given eight people to bathe, feed, clothe and wheel to dining rooms and activities, there is never enough time in a day to spend with residents. Therefore, residents become, not people anymore, but objects to be herded around.
I know our society wants to soothe itself with the idea that nursing homes are nice places, but unless a nursing home is a Culture Change nursing home, and very few are, they cannot be labeled as nice places to live. This is why, mention nursing home to anyone, and you will get the: “I’d rather be dead than live in one,” comment most of the time. In fact, a large company conducted a survey in 2007 asking the elderly what they feared most about getting older. The results were: The elderly feared living in a nursing home more than they feared death. The majority of the survey takers said they would rather be dead than in a nursing home. I think those survey results pretty much says it all.
So with all that in mind, allow me to take you into the world of nursing homes, places where most of us, especially Americans, fear more than death. Maybe you will be shocked, maybe this will simply confirm what you already knew, but I want you to feel, down to your very soul, what life is like there and maybe, just maybe enough people will care enough to help make changes for the better.

From The Reason Why Traditional Nursing Homes in America Suck

The matter of private rooms and showers and bathtubs brings us to the barbaric concept of the shared showers in nursing homes.  Imagine being a resident and it is shower time.  The staff makes the decisions about showering rituals, such as times and how often you will get them.  Imagine it is ‘time’ for your shower; you are placed in a chair on wheels made from white tubular pipes.  This sort of chair, where you are usually stark naked, is cold and very sterile, but, hey, it is easier for staff to keep clean, so never mind your comfort.  Staff can also wheel it right over the toilet without having to remove you from the chair, sort of like ‘one stop shopping.’  This practice alone is barbaric and is really where the warehousing affect kicks in for residents in facilities.  Staff tries their best to cover you, maybe they succeed and maybe your bare backside and bare back is showing as you are wheeled down a long, cold hallway to a community shower.  This huge shower room is shared by every other resident who lives in the facility.  You are wheeled into the community shower to be greeted by a hand held shower head on the end of a long hose.  If you can shower yourself, you get to hold the device.  If unable to do it yourself you will be soaped up, usually starting with your hair and drenched with the cascading water from the shower hose after being soaped from head to toe.  All of this wonderful ‘treatment’ will be performed while you are still sitting in the cold, horrible chair on wheels made from plastic pipes.  Well folks, this amounts to no more than a car wash for human beings.  If I am fortunate enough to have my own soap products to keep my skin from drying out I get to use them.  If I am not that fortunate, I get to use industrial types of shampoo and soaps all created with no soft skin in mind at all.  Industrial type soap is just what elderly people do not need at a time when their skin is becoming paper thin and with quite a bit of dryness setting in because they are older.  Imagine having dementia and the world now appears scary to you and all of a sudden a waterfall of rushing water is blasted over your head.  This would bring us right back to the ‘behavior’ section mentioned before.  This kind of startling motion would trigger a behavior in even the best of us with our minds intact, much less a person with dementia.  After being rinsed, I am still in this damned chair more than likely covered with goose bumps; the room is chilly because it is difficult to warm such a large room anyway.  I am dried from head to toe, probably rubbing my delicate skin with scratchy towels after using industrial soaps.  None of this is conducive to my well being, my delicate skin being able to heal, nor to being treated as a human being.  All of this is designed for efficiency, to run people through a human car wash and get the ‘task’ done as quickly as possible in an eight hour shift.  This is not the kind of treatment I look forward to in a nursing home where I get to pay upwards of over $5,000 per month to live there.  For $5,000 per month I could live in a grand hotel with room service and mints on my pillow and heated towels.  Instead, I get to pay this huge amount to be treated like some piece of meat in a meat market. 

Whats New & Other upcoming events

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  A Vampires tale of Love for a young girl - coming in June

The story of a young girl who meets a mysterious young man, at first they become very good friends even though he seems very different to her.  She has an attraction that she cannot quite figure out but it's there just the same. 

She wonders why she never saw him before but figures it's a big city so she cannot possibly know everyone.  He is fun to be with, appears much older and so much more fun and much more experienced when it comes to knowing how to treat a woman like a lady.  He appears like a knight in shining armor compared to the boys in her own age group who seem so juvenile in comparison.  But little does she know he has had centuries of experience. 

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