So I'm a Veteran

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I still, no matter what, think being a Veteran is an accomplishment to be proud of, but.  I say 'but' for a reason. Sometimes, my once fellow brothers in arms, never cease to mystify me, especially in this new political arena.  Many, many of them once watched our backs in a war climate, yet here we are fifty years later and now many of them are supporting the backs of people who Still don't care about their well being.  THAT mystifies me to no end.

Since Vietnam, which next to the American Civil War, was and still is, the most unpopular War in this country's history.  Still unpopular with our American government, so much so, I do not see where America is really grateful for our service whatsoever.  Not even to this day.

I've lived to see things like: "We need to stop communism in Vietnam before it spreads."(1960's)  "Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree" (1990's) And, most recently on Facebook: "Support Our Troops." (20016) I've learned that ALL are just slogan campaigns to encourage sending our young men to their deaths.  Gotta stir up patriotism Somehow, I suppose.

Since it's been said Russia meddled in America's voting process and since it has been said, our new head person has basically allowed Russia to 'walk right through America's front door' then I've been wondering 'why in Hell Did we go to Vietnam?'  No one really seems to touch that question, much less come up with a reasonable explanation.

So WHY did my 'used to be brothers in arms' vote for people who would just as soon forget them as to look at them?  Was there something I missed when I thought we were still loyal to those who were oh so hell bent on stopping communism from reaching America?  Were they really concerned about that or did they become so jaded along the way, I am now shaking my head in awe of their not even being loyal to their own well being, much less their fellow Veterans?  I'm not angry, simply mystified and deeply saddened when it comes to what appears to me, as a sudden turn of events about their thinking process. 

People, these days, come up to me on the streets, in restaurants and stores, saying: "Thank you for your service."  Well fifty years in coming still seems like a very long time to me.  What does one say when people's feelings appear to sway with the wind on a particular century or year?  Should I now be grateful for once being spat upon, the once 'we hate you' form of gratitude in 1970,  to now, 'thank you for your service?'  Especially when it looks like we did not keep communism out of American government?  (BTW I wear my 'Vietnam Vet' hat because I'm still proud to be a veteran. 

Sad to see: In 1960's the American military could not even buy the better made, Chinese rifles to save our lives in Vietnam.  To now if it isn't Chinese made, you cannot even purchase it in America.  Well, I for one, can see clearly that in ANY war, the American young person, always, always from poorer families, is and always will be, nothing more than cannon fodder to a government who cares so little for their own cause they make sure They nor their privileged children, will ever pick up a weapon.  They just keep sending poor kids, since I suppose we are expendable to them. Funny, our parents didn't and still don't, think we are expendable.  When I see 'All lives matter" I Still think: 'Who's lives we talkin?" 

So all in all, I loved my brothers in arms, but do not recognize any of them in the year 2016 nor will recognize them any better in 2017.  Just some food for thought. 

Hail to Vietnam Veterans

Government response to PTSD:
"Get over it, it doesn't exist, it's all about me."

Vietnam Vet's response: "No we aren't going to just let it be"

Government response: " There is nothing wrong that we can see"

Vietnam Vets response: "Hell no, you won't diss ME.  Our brothers in arms are suffering, you see."

The government's wail to silence the Vietnam Vets, comes to no avail.  Vietnam Veterans persistence we all should hail.

Vietnam Vets: "I feel like there is a demon on my tail"

Government response: "It's all in your head."

Vietnam Vets response: "No it's not, it is ruining my life, enough said."

Vietnam Vets: "You let us down long enough. Why oh why does the government wail?  Oh yeah, follow the money trail.  A payout of disability you might have to pay.  So, 'shut your mouths' you love to say.  No welcome home, no real VA benefits, you act like we're all giving you fits.  You treat us all as a group of misfits.  You called us to arms, we answered that call.  Those who didn't volunteer, you ripped from their homes, leaving mothers in tears.  'Land of the free' HA, In the form of the draft, indentured servitude, Making many fight for Thee.  So be it, but some things we refuse to just 'let it be'  It's serving all our brothers and sisters, can't you see?"

Vietnam Vets: Is this how a nation is grateful.  Being rude to us and hateful?  That is not how it should be, we will never forget.  So our persistence is all about you, you and you, then maybe me."

Hail to Vietnam Veterans who refused to let their brothers in arms down.  Their motto: "We're all in this together."  They wore it like a crown.  The government told them to 'go fight' and they did, with all of their might. They returned home and the government said: "Now get out of our sight." They got home thinking their fight was done, little did they know, back in The World, the fight had just begun.  'All lives matter' today they like to say.  Well Vietnam Vet's lives matter too, they fight the good fight, for you and you. I say to the Vets: "Jolly good for you."

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A war called Vietnam

I fought a war called, Vietnam
I then came home to be spat upon
Now I hear Welcome home"
Where in hell were you when I was alone?

Wars they come, wars they go
We're older now, does it show?
We've learned, we say
Today is a new day
America must have an attention problem

Concentrate on a new day
America's answer?
"Hey a new country for our war to play"
Attention span is a might short
"A new war" is America's retort

I see, "Support our troops'
I guess violence and carnage are our roots
"We really prefer peace"
Until chickens once again come home to roost

More young people with innocent faces
Sent to kill and be killed in foreign places
"They need more children, Honey'"
"Since we've learned war brings big money"

Off to another war they go
Backpacks and guns in toe
Will they return?
No one for sure can know

No one knows till the die is cast
Not until this war is in our past
But we do already know
This war will not be our last

America dusts off it's killing machine
Again and again
In the future your children they will send
America's blood thirst will never end


Oh Mom and Dad make it end
Ignore the lies
Tell them your kids you won't send
Stop showing up, again and again

Think not sending them is unpatriotic?
Our kids being killed in foreign lands is not exotic
War is simply chaotic
America, you need a tonic

Snap out of it, get well
They say 'war' you say, 'go to hell'
In too many wars, in too many lands they fell
America, heal, time to get well

Poems of a Forgotten War

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                                                               Brothers in Arms

Brothers in arms in a far away place

Just a little country called Vietnam

Doing our job, day after day, night after night

Humping our butts all day, Humping our butts all night

Ten clicks out, hope we make it back

You cover my back and I'll cover yours

Never looking back, we all got the knack

Twelve go out, only six come back

Sometimes bitter and sometimes sad

No time for crying, no time to feel bad

Ten more clicks, let's do it again

Set up the ambush and wait all night

Quiet as a mouse in the elephant grass

Shadows in the moon are coming for me

Lock and load, I'm ready for the fight

Popping the Claymores and firing at will

waiting, waiting, long into the night

When its all over we come back in

Just a band of brothers in arms

Doing our jobs

Tomorrow, more clicks out, do it all over again

First Brush With Death...A Date With Vietnam

The day I was first shot at and the Vietnamese guy I was
transporting in the vehicle next to me had a bullet hole in his
head, I tried not to panic. I looked at him and very quickly
sprung into survival mode. I didn't relish dying here, on the
side of a remote road, but for the first time, I realized it was a
possibility. I was thinking what my parents back home would
say when they got my death notice. Strange how those ideas
run through your head when in a life or death situation. I didn't die that day, but I would come damned near closer to it several times more than I'd have cared to before leaving The Nam. 

In Nam it almost seemed like The World and family didn't exist anymore, sometimes. Holidays were spent in this foreign country and you forgot what family gatherings were even like. It all seemed so damned far away after a while. But I had my reasons for joining the Army. After I quit school, I made a promise to myself and a date with Vietnam, I intended to keep them both.

It was not like I was totally naive about what the military, war
and even what death was, sort of. Even though I had only seen dead people maybe two or three times in my life, up to this point.  But I thought I knew a lot about death
at the ripe old age of 16. I didn't realize it then, but I would
experience and learn much more, in war, concerning the subject of death.





  

A Date With Vietnam

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country "

John F. Kennedy - January 20th 1961




I believed what President Kennedy said in those words, and my parents and family backed me up on it.  It was strange, my relationship with The Nam I mean. Even when under fire, even when I was scared and feared for my life, I didn't question why America was there, why I was there.


Back then, so many of us just believed our parents, we had faith in America and we believed that we were doing the right thing.

I entered the Army with that doing the right thing attitude. So
much so, that I signed up for a second tour because I felt our
military presence was making a difference. By my second tour there, the Army felt more like home than The World did, the place where I decided I found my niche in life, like I finally found a place where I belonged.




A lot of guys back then didn't feel that way though. The ones
who had been drafted absolutely hated it there. The World was all they talked about, it dominated every conversation they had.

They talked incessantly about what they had been doing in The World when they were forced to come to Nam by the draft, their families back there, and most of all, how to get back to The World and resume their former lives. They talked about it because I think they were afraid if they stopped talking, then The World would become lost to them and they'd never make it back.

The World never held a lot of meaning for me, as a kid, so I
didn't long for it, pine for it, like many of the guys did. I had a good childhood, but my teen years had been turbulent, so, for me, leaving The World wasn't such a traumatic event. In fact, leaving The World was a big adventure for me and I was loving it, so far.

War an outlet for a potential bad boy...diary

1965....Turning 16, the struggle to be a grownup

Spring 1965:

Walked home from school today.  I quit, which pissed my dad off and my mom wasn't much happier.  Dad asked me what in hell I thought I was going to do now.  Told him I plan to join the Army, go to Vietnam, help my country win a war.  The look on his face said it all; he looked at me like I was some dumb kid.  I'm not, I want to be treated as an adult.  Don't they get it?  I hate school and I know the only way to see the world is to join the Army.  After a long talk, Dad finally agreed to go with me to see the Army recruiter.  I was hoping he'd come around.

A few weeks ago I talked with a couple old classmates at school.  They came in dressed in their army uniforms and man, what a crowd they drew.  Those uniforms look cool and all the kids hung around them like bees around honey.  I liked that, especially the girls they attracted.  something about a uniform all the girls seem to like.  The admiring looks from the guys seemed pretty cool to me too.  I asked them all sorts of questions about Vietnam, the Army and if they liked it.  They said they did and planned to go back to Vietnam in about 30 days.  

I listened, as a kid, to my dad and my uncle talk about the war.  My uncle is so full of stories, interesting stories and he makes the Army seem very interesting.  I made up my mind, a long time ago, I wanted to join, get out of Indiana and see more of the world.  Hell, the Army will pay for it and I'll learn something too.  Thanks Dad for coming around.

Reflections on a Christmas day, is there forgiveness in war?

 

 

As a soldier reflecting where I've been before

I wonder, is there forgiveness in a war?

Forgiveness from those hurt to their very core

Is forgiveness simply story and lore?

Soldiers who thought what they did was just

Soldiers having done what they felt they must

But wising up, losing the trust

Is there such a thing as forgiveness or bust?

Is there one god?

Or is there more than one?

Looking at all of us under the sun

We grow older, now reflection has begun

We all share the same sun

We all share the same moon

We all share the same sky

No peace on Earth until soldiers ask: "Why?"

Why am I killing?

Why do I plunder and destroy?

A tank, a gun, is not just a toy

But war mongers place them in the hands of a boy

We say: "Peace."

We act like Earth belongs to us

To do with as we want

Is it ours, or are we here on a lease?

If I were a god hearing us saying: "Peace."

Would I be disgusted?

Would I serve an eviction notice?

Would I renew human's lease?

We say we love peace

We say so, yet we bring forth the gun

Why do we believe them?

Just because war mongers say: "Grab it and run."

Is there truly forgiveness in a war?

Memories that make us all sore

If there is forgiveness in a war

Why do we repeat it, like so many times before?

Some say war is a fear of what other countries may do

But I think it is the actions of just a few

We say we are a Christian nation in America

Is war what they mean by: "Do unto you?"

 War is control

War is just destruction

By some misguided humans

Probably suffering from some sort of dysfunction

Remember that peace is hugging, peace is loving

Peace is not shooting, pushing and shoving

Destroying your land is not very loving

No wonder you fight back when we commence the shoving

Peace on Earth

Where does it all start?

When soldiers question the motives

When soldiers find, not war, but love in their heart

 

 We as soldiers may live the war till the day we die

 

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In a place we should not have been

Young soldiers in a foreign land
Having a drink, listening to a band
To a bar we were told not to go in
But too young, attracted to liquor and sin

Young enough to not expect to die
Young ideas of living forever, a lie
Young and foolish our little band
The night when death showed it's ugly hand

Taking a seat at a table, settling in for a drink
We discovered things can change in just one wink
Us die? We didn't see the link. So young, who'd think?
One blast changed it all, the night death came to call

Drinking and laughing in a forbidden zone
We thought death would leave us alone
But we temporarily forgot it was a war
War sets the tone

To the men's room I took a leave
Not knowing what war had up it's sleeve
A blast, a loud noise
The deafening noise, made me take poise

I ran out to see dust and gloom
Surrounding a place that once was a room
I looked around when I was able
Just an empty spot that once was our table

Running to help my friends
Some wounded, some met their end
I could not believe my eyes
Too young to die?  A pack of lies

Helping survivors outside
In a war, no one is able to hide
We had laughed, we said we won't die
Now we had to face that lie

War has a way of finding you when there
War isn't sympathetic of your age
War just doesn't care
I lost some good friends over there

You travel back home
Friends you have lost
You feel a little more alone
That's the fact of any war zone

You push it to the back of your mind
But eventually those thoughts creep in
Thoughts that are not very kind
Death, war, friends lost, do not leave your mind

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So later when pondering, you think
You grow older, understand the link
So this is what death is?
One bomb, wrong place, wrong time, all gone with a fizz
 
 
 

If only I had listened, if only you would listen

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If only you would listen

If only I had listened

Listened before the blood glistened

We thought the good fight was for freedom

Let freedom ring

We killed those we never should have

Emotional wounds cannot be healed with band aid and salve 

We did our job, we looked like a mob

Come home with problems and reality

American government does not care

The emotional scars, all who fought, these we share

We say 'it's not fair'

We go to counseling

We get meds and a 'there, there'

We think that damned counselor cares?

Conditioned to fight a perceived enemy in hiding

Training that does not leave your head

Come home to no one who's guiding

Some days, emotions go sliding

Bitter you say?

If only you would listen

Listen, my Child

Listen before you rue the day

War machines fill our dreams

Some more, some less, still a mess

Emotional scars

We saw fire in those stars

Are we crazy?

Sometimes thoughts become hazy

Let the rich pick up arms

Don't look for my child, they don't answer your alarms

Fight a war yourself

Get your cell phone, take your own picture

Call it a 'selfie'

Remember yourself when you return, no limbs, as you sit on a shelfie

War these days is a video game?

The 'enemy' is never glad you came

Tearing up civilian's homes

Never to be the same

 Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!

They should love us you think?

It all looks good on paper and ink

To real human beings

A government has no real link

If only I had listened

If you would just listen

Please do before you see the blood glisten

Hopefully it is not your blood in the sun to glisten

 

On being a soldier

Having a beer to relax and forget, if only for a moment in war

Whether a person is in a war or not, those of the past and those of the present, emotions about war always run high, either for or against it. Do you want to know, first hand, how those who were in it feel, ask them.  The responses, like the emotions, will vary greatly from, 'I'm trying to forget, I'm not talking about it anymore, or I just cannot explain it."  The last one if very prominent because most military people will tell you: "Unless you were there, you cannot understand it all."  This response is probably the truest of all.  The biggest reason those who served in a war will not talk to civilians about it. They simply cannot understand it. 

"I'll be the first to admit that in Nam, probably in any war, events that would seem strange or bizarre back in The World, were just viewed as normal. Events you just cannot explain to anyone who hasn't lived through the chaos of war because they'd never understand. You had to be a witness to those events to get the full grasp of their meaning." (quote from my book: A Date With Vietnam.

The thing is; no one wants to fight a war, no one wants to kill people, (sometimes in a slaughter), no one is used to, brought up to, or even really trained well to, just get used to what they see in a war.  Yes, some are more adept at it than others, but no one, no matter their circumstances, is prepared to see their buddies and best friends killed in front of them either. 

But should we all 'forget' any wars simply because they are 'distasteful'?  Well show me a 'tasteful' war and I will say: "Sure, let's forget all the rest of them."  But I know there never has been nor ever will be a 'tasteful' war.  Each year we commemorate the Revolutionary War, the one fought for America's independence.  I'm sure those who fought that one would never have wanted us to forget that lives were lost and lives were changed forever and people died for it.  In ALL wars, people die and they die in large masses.  As the war machines have improved, more and more people die in huge masses, on both sides.  I would never tell the loved ones of someone killed in a war: "Well, just forget it."  That would be crass and highly rude. 

We tend to forget there is no 'faceless enemy' no matter what war you think of.  We forget that even the perceived enemy comes from a family and has loved ones too.  Even the enemy's life is changed forever.  We are friends with Japan, yet America used a weapon of such mass destruction on that country so terrible that it not only changed lives, it literally changed landscapes, forever.  

Each generation goes to war hoping their children never will have to.  We forget the pettiness of governments to ever be able to get along, so each generation must do the bidding of those in power, to fight a war in a country for whatever stupid reason, and for land that the military person will never control.  They fight it for someone else. Yes, governments want us to believe it is for 'our freedom' but is it really?  Doubtful. 

I say: "Do not ever forget those who fought the wars."  Protest, if need be, for veterans to not be homeless, to not get bad care from a VA hospital or outpatient service.  You know a veteran?  Be kind to them, show kindness, and remember: When fighting for their rights, you fight for your own as well.  You do not have to ask them to describe war, it's difficult even for the veteran to understand it all, but just be kind and make governments stop treating them, and us all, like we do not exist.  A veteran should not be homeless from ailments caused by a war they showed up to fight, for an ungrateful government that would like to toss them out like yesterday' trash.  Veterans showed up when called, the government needs to do the same, to step up to the plate for them.  Hell. America cannot even step up to the plate for fire fighters, police people, or emergency workers who helped in 9/11.  This attitude Must Stop!


My latest book tries to explain why and how anyone would fight a war.  I cannot do all veterans justice because it is complicated, indeed.  But I do my best.  I hope I succeeded in some small way.

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