Guys, women don't want what you've been dishing out

This blog is not for every guy, just the guys who don't seem to get it.  Believe me, there are plenty of them out there.

I love, love, love when guys say: "I just don't understand women."  What is there to understand?  Women are people, just as guys are people.  Ever stop to think maybe you might not want to be treated as you treat women then?  Or: " Nice guys finish last."  Well maybe they don't finish last and so maybe you are not the nice guy you think you are.

Here's what women get rankled about:

1)  Guys who will pursue a woman, even if she is not interested.  Some guys feel like they have to win like it's a game.  I remember telling some guys:" I'm really not interested."  Only to have them keep begging me to go out, then to have them decide, later on, they were not interested, except in winning.  Guys, your ego that fragile?  Yet people think women are the weaker sex.  That behavior pisses most women off to the hilt. 

2) "You live too far away."  Well guys, you knew distance was a factor when you started.  Right?  So if you lose interest, women appreciate if you are honest and just admit you aren't interested.  Stop making up some crap to get off the hook.  We women know that is a poor excuse.  Most of us women are really not that stupid.


3) Stop trying to pick women up in bars.  Seriously.  Most women know you are likely married or living with a girlfriend anyway.  I recall a guy once saying, in a bar: "But my wife doesn't understand me."  Well, Fella, that makes two of us then.  Why in hell you in a bar, drinking, alone, when your wife or girlfriend sits home alone?

4) Be honest in your profile.  Seriously, placing an online profile up there then at the very least, be honest.  Actually state what you are looking for and what you expect.  You expect some top model? (Good luck there)  But at least be honest and say so.  This way, women with brains will steer clear of you anyway.  It's only fair.  "I want and expect a babe" would be the honest thing to be up front about.

5) Sent recent pictures that are not photo shopped too.  A woman deserves to see who she is really talking to.  This would be common sense, but I realize common sense is Not a flower that grows in Every garden.  

6) Don't send pictures of some personal body parts either.  Any woman Worth having is Not going to like that one bit.  So also Decide if you Are looking for a woman worth keeping or just looking for a fling.  Not nice to lead someone on if you aren't serious about wanting a permanent mate either. Also I'd file under common sense, but well. 

7) So you don't see fireworks and skyrockets when you meet?  Remember, be friends first because friends always make for good and lasting relationships.  Love grows over time, if you give it a chance.  That other crap is good for reading in romance novels, not real life.

8) When dating at least Ask what she likes, doesn't like or just ask her to tell you about herself.  Don't be so conceited that you dominate the conversation only telling her about you.  

9) Do not look at your cell phone in the middle of a conversation either.  Just rude. It makes you look like the king of nothing and you cannot keep your many subjects waiting. Turning it off completely would be a wise choice.  

10)  Do not mention your ex either.  No one wants to hear why you broke up.  For pity sake, never say your ex is crazy, even if she is.  Why? Because just because you didn't get along, it might be just that you were not suited for each other.  Women hate when you cut up an ex, right off the bat.  Save that conversation for years later, if you are still together. 

13) Look the woman in her eyes when talking to her.  It gives the impression you actually give a shit about her response. 

14) Always look your best when seen with her.  This also may be common sense, but a lot of guys don't always get it.

15) Have a sense of humor.  Women like guys who can really laugh at things.  No woman likes a guy who is too serious all the time. 


These are starters as to understanding women.  Most of us women are dumb founded as to Why some guys act as they do toward us, so guys, get your act together and wise up.  We women are human beings too, just as you are.  How do you want to be treated today? 

Stuff I could blame my parents for but don't

As adult children I suppose many people like to blame every bad thing in life on how they were raised.  When I think it over, I've met many adults who do just that.  "I had a bad marriage, I should have been raised better."  Or:  "I was spanked as a kid, that was just wrong."   Maybe all those things are true, but as adults, I just think we need to take responsibility for our own bad deeds in life, not blame our parents.  

I had a bad marriage and when I divorced, I realized that being the youngest kid, I was never really taught to take care of myself.  I was sheltered and being a girl, my parents felt the need to really shelter me.  Youngest kid, a girl, well a double whammy for me.  I grew up in a time when the thing to do, as a girl, was to find a husband.  My parents were thoroughly convinced that women needed a husband to get along in adult life.  So much so that it almost became a : "Any port in a storm" situation.  It wasn't just my parents it was a societal mentality.  I would love to tell you that in 2014 all that's changed, but from what I've observed, it isn't always so.  We are still bombarded in the media with what we should wear, how nice we should look, be pretty, be skinny and the list just goes on and on.  For what?  Well to catch a man, of course.  You can deny it all you like, but it's there, every TV ad, every magazine ad and on the Internet.  Sorry girls, but it's true.  It was so bad that not only me, but all my high school girl friends thought they too needed to be married, or else you were just nothing.  The big fear was maybe being single past age 30 and you'd be showing the world that nobody wanted you.  Why do you think romance stories are still so popular today?


My ex is a bad man, I realize most women say this, but it's probably true in their case too.  The way he acted, even in front of my parents, they should have advised me to dump him or at the very least, rethink marriage to this loser.  They never did, but instead, would cut him up verbally to me.  

I had wanted to go to college, but back then, being old school, they never knew about financial aid, so they simply told me they could never afford it.  I got no advice from my adviser in high school either other than: "Well you probably won't have a long career anyway since you girls always seem to get married and have a family and a husband to take care of you."   Sounds silly?  Well by the looks of women's pay out there, apparently society's attitude about that hasn't changed much even now.

Could I blame my parents that I finally got divorced, had to care for two young boys for a long time on my own and I finally did go to college, but not until I was 40 and it was a struggle?  Yes, I could blame them for not shoving me out the door more as I was growing up.  But they did what they knew just as we do now as parents, often times.

My parents never talked to any of us kids about sex or the opposite sex.  I was told: "Just stay away from boys who want certain things."  Seriously?  That is good sex advice?  Of course not.  My parents grew up in simpler times, more sheltered times and my mom found a good man, but I suppose they were hoping I'd 'luck out.'   A sad way to run one's life.  Toss the dice and hope you come out a winner.

I might have made better choices in a husband had I been given some kind of useful advice.  But, alas, I ended up divorced and figuring things out on my own.  It was a struggle, but maybe it made me a better person by figuring it out alone, I don't know.

I hope parents these days are enlightening their kids, especially daughters, about caring for themselves first and foremost.  The list is large, the things we could blame our parents for.

 By the way, I was spanked as a kid and I abhor violence and I turned out okay in spite of the spankings.

Dating past 50

At least she's getting some help.

There's a book, possibly several, out, giving advice to people over 50 about dating.  People over fifty need help with dating?  OK  So much for giving advice to our adult kids then, must be we don't know all that much after all.

One piece of advice goes something like this: "Trim your toenails, you never know and should be prepared."  Trim toenails?  Seems to me that advice is good for any age.  Do younger people not trim their toenails?  OK, once again.

The book and blog sites out there, tell us 'times are a changin.'  We are told that men do not hold doors anymore, they expect women to pay all or part of the dinner tab.  I might see the dinner tab thing, but why are manners now out dated?  So women now can fart and get away with it then?  Hey, don't judge, guys do it all the time.  When people age they have more gas. A fact of life, deal with it.

More advice is to date several men at once.  Well, I guess they are reverting back to commune days.  Isn't that what was touted in the 60's?  You know, free love, 'love the one you're with' so on, so forth.  That part is OK too.  

I don't know about other people over 50, but I'd pretty much leave it up to my own gut feelings.  People can meet online (so maybe there will be more 'missing' seniors from doing that?)  Even online dating or meeting then dating, whatever, would take some sense to be safe.  (I'd say common sense, but I find sense is not always so common.  

  Not sure what any of you think about all this, no one comments on this site, but if you feel  inclined to comment, that'd be way cool too.

It's also a fact that fewer women, older women especially, look to date.  Women don't suffer so much from loneliness as much as men do.  Or, maybe, just maybe, men miss the woman to do those mundane household chores?  I'm not saying all men, so don't get your shorts all up in a bunch over it. 

Where do they get these young looking older people?

I think, with all the habits and more bodily functions going on at an older age, everyone who dates over 50 would have to be a good sport about those things, taking much in their stride.  

I watched Celebrity Wife Swap recently and one old, (has been) actor said: "I married a younger woman because women in my age group are pretty much dead."  LOL  His brain is pretty much dead, gauging from that statement.  I also noticed, younger wifey stayed quite happy as long as she had his credit cards to keep her company.  I also suppose that actor was not 'dead below the waist' thanks to Viagra these days, it used to be older women could say the same dead lines about old men.   No fool like an old fool.