Monday, April 14, 2014

Thoughts on friends and such

Often we see on the Internet terms like my bff, my soul mate and many others like those.  What do they mean?  Do they in fact mean anything other than the ramblings of the person writing them?  

Over the years I've been a fan of Sex and the City.  I'm not even sure just why but perhaps it all has to do with the friendship of four young women.  Women who stay friends through thick and thin, good times and bad times.  Maybe that kind of friendship, depicted in the series, exists or maybe it's a figment of Candace Bushnell's imagination, the creator of Sex and the City.  Maybe it depicts the kind of friendships we'd all like to have.

Perhaps the popularity of that particular genre draws women fans because of not just the friendship, but the different views of each friend as they try to sort out relationships with men.  

Samantha: fiercely independent, not wanting to ever rely on anyone but herself when it comes to work and relationships.  She flits from one man to another, never really getting locked into a permanent thing with any one guy.

Miranda: Also fiercely independent, at first glance, but changes as she matures.  She's a lawyer, trying to always analyze and even puts down, anything she does not totally understand or is not able to control.  When we first meet her, she thinks every man has an ulterior motive and so she does not ever really trust men.  In one episode, Carrie introduces her to a shy nerdy type of guy.  Miranda thinks his shyness is simply an act, mocking her.

Charlotte:  She tells us she has been looking for Mr. Right since she was in high school.  Most of the time she looks too hard and therefore does not find him while looking so hard.  She thinks women must 'play the game' in order to snag a man.  Eventually she finds a guy she falls in love with, but this guy does not fit her 'type' (the image) that she has created on paper and in her head, so she cannot believe why she even falls for him at all.

Carrie:  Then we have Carrie.  She has her ups and down and some will say she just concedes to men, at least where Mr. Big is concerned.  Many women hate the way she seems to roll over, at times, allowing guys to get away with too much.  Why do some women hate this virtue of Carrie's?  Well isn't that just the way a lot of women relate to men?  In some stages of our lives, many of us have acted just like Carrie sometimes does.  I know I did when younger.  It isn't until we reach past our forties and the hormones have all settled, that we see men in a different light, we see relationships in a different light.  Less hormones, I've discovered, make us more objective.  Before that time, we have acted the fool where men are concerned.  Damned those raging hormones!  I've observed friends and family, acting just like that, yet completely denying it when they have.  Haven't we all been guilty of tolerating way too much from the opposite sex when we were younger and inexperienced? 

I like the series and I like the friendships of those women.  I will write more in the next blog about what I have observed about women and friendships.  Even about women and daughters they may have and how I think those relationships can be great or bitter sweet. 

My recent book: Child of the Earth, tells a tale of how love can find us when we least expect it.  How when we do find it, well, it just may not be the wonderful answer we had been looking for, as it can be bitter sweet sometimes. Finding Mr. Right can sometimes be a two edged sword.

Sometimes love can hurt but it can be all worth the pain.

Available at: