Thursday, March 8, 2018

I'm Glad I'm Retired...Penn Yan

All over America the economy sucks and in small town, USA, it sucks the most.  I'm so glad I'm retired because lately I've seen that this new batch of hiring managers do not know how to hire.  Some say: "Well companies are looking for purple unicorns."  From what I've seen I really have no idea what in hell they are looking for.  I doubt they even know.  Most of them could not hire their way out of a paper bag, and yet, here we are, those dummies are the managers.  That's scary. 

I've lived in small towns, mostly, all of my life.  I think small towns, for the mot part, are safer than big cities.  But I've also known that when small town folk try to befriend you, it's because they just want to be up in your business.  I also know, for the most part, in order to get a good job in a small town it boils down to: "Who you know and who you blow."  Sad, but true.  

In a small town, if you have any kind of education beyond high school, when you go to an interview, you are immediately viewed as suspicious, by the hiring person.  They look at you as if you want their job, and from what I've observed, that would probably only be an improvement anyway.

Examples of small town interviews:  You have a degree, and because the jobs in small towns are limited, you apply for a job at the local convenience store.  They call you in for the interview and it goes like this: (Hiring person) "So you want to work here?"  (Job seeker) "Yes, I would like to."  (Hiring person) "You have a degree, why do you want to work here?"  (Job seeker) "What do you mean?"  (Hiring person) "Well you are educated, you are over qualified."  {Truth is: There is NO such thing as 'over qualified' either you can do the damned job or you can't.  {Truth is, if I am educated I can do that damned job.}  (Job seeker) "Well jobs are rather limited here and I applied."  {What the job seeker (Me anyway) would really like to say: "I want to work here because I have to pay for those frivolous things like food, clothing and shelter. Oh, by the way, are you telling me that you and the rest of the staff are stupid?"  Hell they sure are implying it. 

Truth is this:  None of those jobs are exactly rocket science and America has simply become sellers for cheap, Chinese goods, created in a sweat shop by slaves.  So stop acting like I've lived my entire life just waiting to be talked down to at this damned interview. 

Yeah, I have a degree which means I know that 2+2 still equals 4.  Got it?  I realize (From an entire life of observation) small town folk have to spell their last names correctly to be accepted.  Most of the jobs in a small town, I could bring in Joe Blow off the street and he could do your job just fine and dandy. In reality ( where few people seem to live anymore) hiring managers just do not want anyone who might make them look incompetent.  Not realizing all the while, as soon as they opened their mouth, spewing dumb questions, they already oozed incompetence.  Hell, a prime example of America's failed high school education system is this:  One day the cash register failed to work right in a Walmart (Meaning it did not give the answers on a silver platter to the cashier as to how much change I got back.)  So the cashier whipped out a hand held calculator and it took that clerk almost 45 minutes to figure out I got back a whopping 70 cents.  Oh my! 

Another good example is: Small towns sometimes have a college, you get a degree from said college, a job opens up at said college, you apply, only to find out they don't even like their own degrees enough to call you in for an interview.  Also said small town college, you leave the area to get a job within your degree to find out no one has even heard of you, outside small town.  The potential employer, in a bigger area, has to Google your name to see if you are even a real college.  (This is from personal experience.)  

Also example:  You apply, after moving back to small town, for a Social Work job at one of the local nursing homes.  You get called in for an interview and then they find out you were once a nurse aid at that same place, a few years before.  They have realized you got married, changed your name, so you scored the interview.  But (Here's the kicker)  you once were a nurse aid so you still must be stupid in their book.  When you go to the interview,and they had forgotten who you were, you get treated ( for the first time ever, with respect) when you were a nurse aid you were not treated with respect, although nurse aids are needed more than Social Workers, in my book. Also I've written a book about how awful traditional nursing homes really are.  One person at the interview actually said: "I suppose you'll write about us?"  Why would I when you already fit the category of 'traditional nursing homes suck'?

So while small towns might be safer, I'm retired now and could care less about a job in one, they also have major flaws.  Most flaws are, they are too conservative, too tight knit and too provincial for their own good.  It's why they fail to ever progress.  While this is my opinion, it is based on personal experience living in Small Town USA. 

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

When Our Dad's Went to Work

Lately we hear a lot of 'Make America Great 
Again' chants, but just what do people mean by those feelings and chants? I am sure the 'America Was Great' comment depends a lot on who you ask. Are they longing for a time of true greatness in this country, or are they simply feeling nostalgia that their memories of youth bring?  I hardly think anyone in America can honestly say that this country is not in trouble.  So looking back at how America has been, is worth the effort.

Sometimes I even catch myself being nostalgic, thinking of the times I grew up in.  But we cannot relive the past, as much as we would like to.  I grew up in an era when the small town I grew up in, had plenty of jobs.  My father went to work every day, my brothers went to work each day and even as a teenager, we had a choice of jobs to earn some spending money.  My parents were poor, we were poor, but as a kid I had love, a roof over my head and food on the table, so I never noticed so much just how poor we were.  We pumped water from a well, we had electricity (this house was the first house my parents lived in that had electricity) but we had no running water and we used an outhouse.  Kids these days would think they were dying if they had to do any of those things.  We lived on five acres and my dad, who always wanted to be a farmer, loved planting, so we had plenty of food.  My mom preserved anything she could get her hands on, that was food. There were so many jobs that I worked several summers to buy my class ring and school clothes in high school, so my parents didn't have to scrape for the money for those frills. I worked at an ice cream place one summer, serving cones and sodas to other kids who had money to spend.  I worked in agriculture, picking grapes, I worked at a dry cleaner's pressing clothes using one of those large steam pressers. Hell, I even have a copy of American Graffiti that I love to watch, reminding me of a time I loved.  A time when even kids could afford a car, afford gasoline to be able to cruise around with our friends on a Friday or Saturday night. Cars that were not these plastic Tupperware death traps made of plastic. Cars made of real metals and every guy could be a backyard mechanic, not having to use a damned computer to see what the engine needed to make it run. So, yes, I too can be quite nostalgic once in a while.  

When I was a teenager and young adult, America got involved in that quagmire we called The Vietnam War. I cannot look back without admitting that was not a great, nostalgic time, not really.  My friends and I were pissed off that our government had the power to abolish slavery, only to revive it again in the form of a draft.  Forcing too many of my generation to fight a war we did not agree with.  The only thing anyone might be able to find on a positive not about that war and the previous wars, was they did create jobs.  Unlike today when war has been privatized and only a very few companies profit from it.  

Today companies and state governments ( because the lobbyists pay our government) to destroy unions have destroyed most of them.  At least our fathers and grandfathers had common sense.  Sense in the form of knowing large companies would never ever give the workers any rights out of the goodness of their hearts, anymore than slave owners gave slaves they owned, any rights.   Those rights had to be fought for.  I have seen an entire generation (lacking common sense) destroy those very unions that help us live a better life.  They have simply handed over their power, as workers, to heartless corporations without blinking an eye. 

This is a generation that has embraced technology.  Why?  Why do so many love their gadgets?  Well technology does have the ability to make life easier.  It's a two edged sword.  While making life easier ( and making us fatter and physically lazier) it also has the ability of robbing us of the jobs we need to support ourselves and our families. Technology, in small doses, makes life nice, but unfortunately we have saturated the entire planet with it.  Technology, when used for good, helps us.  We saw in this past Presidential election, it also can be inherently evil.  Now it has run so rampant we don't know how to curb it.  I walk into a grocery store and find they have replaced the clerks with self-checkouts.  'Self-checkouts' what a nice surgically sterile name for 'we have destroyed peoples' jobs).  Now I'm supposed to check out my own purchases, which technically makes me destroy a clerk's job, technically making me an employee without the benefit of a paycheck.  No thanks. While loving our gadgets, we have successfully destroyed our jobs too.  We have done it to ourselves. So no longer do our fathers, brothers and sisters even have jobs to go to every day.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Guys, women don't want what you've been dishing out

This blog is not for every guy, just the guys who don't seem to get it.  Believe me, there are plenty of them out there.

I love, love, love when guys say: "I just don't understand women."  What is there to understand?  Women are people, just as guys are people.  Ever stop to think maybe you might not want to be treated as you treat women then?  Or: " Nice guys finish last."  Well maybe they don't finish last and so maybe you are not the nice guy you think you are.

Here's what women get rankled about:

1)  Guys who will pursue a woman, even if she is not interested.  Some guys feel like they have to win like it's a game.  I remember telling some guys:" I'm really not interested."  Only to have them keep begging me to go out, then to have them decide, later on, they were not interested, except in winning.  Guys, your ego that fragile?  Yet people think women are the weaker sex.  That behavior pisses most women off to the hilt. 

2) "You live too far away."  Well guys, you knew distance was a factor when you started.  Right?  So if you lose interest, women appreciate if you are honest and just admit you aren't interested.  Stop making up some crap to get off the hook.  We women know that is a poor excuse.  Most of us women are really not that stupid.

3) Stop trying to pick women up in bars.  Seriously.  Most women know you are likely married or living with a girlfriend anyway.  I recall a guy once saying, in a bar: "But my wife doesn't understand me."  Well, Fella, that makes two of us then.  Why in hell you in a bar, drinking, alone, when your wife or girlfriend sits home alone?

4) Be honest in your profile.  Seriously, placing an online profile up there then at the very least, be honest.  Actually state what you are looking for and what you expect.  You expect some top model? (Good luck there)  But at least be honest and say so.  This way, women with brains will steer clear of you anyway.  It's only fair.  "I want and expect a babe" would be the honest thing to be up front about.

5) Sent recent pictures that are not photo shopped too.  A woman deserves to see who she is really talking to.  This would be common sense, but I realize common sense is Not a flower that grows in Every garden.  

6) Don't send pictures of some personal body parts either.  Any woman Worth having is Not going to like that one bit.  So also Decide if you Are looking for a woman worth keeping or just looking for a fling.  Not nice to lead someone on if you aren't serious about wanting a permanent mate either. Also I'd file under common sense, but well. 

7) So you don't see fireworks and skyrockets when you meet?  Remember, be friends first because friends always make for good and lasting relationships.  Love grows over time, if you give it a chance.  That other crap is good for reading in romance novels, not real life.

8) When dating at least Ask what she likes, doesn't like or just ask her to tell you about herself.  Don't be so conceited that you dominate the conversation only telling her about you.  

9) Do not look at your cell phone in the middle of a conversation either.  Just rude. It makes you look like the king of nothing and you cannot keep your many subjects waiting. Turning it off completely would be a wise choice.  

10)  Do not mention your ex either.  No one wants to hear why you broke up.  For pity sake, never say your ex is crazy, even if she is.  Why? Because just because you didn't get along, it might be just that you were not suited for each other.  Women hate when you cut up an ex, right off the bat.  Save that conversation for years later, if you are still together. 

13) Look the woman in her eyes when talking to her.  It gives the impression you actually give a shit about her response. 

14) Always look your best when seen with her.  This also may be common sense, but a lot of guys don't always get it.

15) Have a sense of humor.  Women like guys who can really laugh at things.  No woman likes a guy who is too serious all the time. 

These are starters as to understanding women.  Most of us women are dumb founded as to Why some guys act as they do toward us, so guys, get your act together and wise up.  We women are human beings too, just as you are.  How do you want to be treated today? 

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

The Trouble with Penn Yan New York

Penn Yan schools are facing low enrollment lately.  Is it any wonder why?  Penn Yan has become an area where jobs have all but left yet rent and home prices continue to soar beyond the reach of the average family.

I moved to Penn Yan in 1970 when it was once a great place to live, work and raise a family.  Any towns not open to attracting families will, in my opinion, eventually become just a shell of it's former self.  Exactly what is happening to Penn Yan.  When rentals are $1,100 a month and yet the area offers no decent paying jobs, then families will not move here.  There is nothing but high prices and low paying jobs these days.

Where would a person work?  Some low paying service related hotel job?  A low paying waitress job?  A low paying nurse aide job?  None of these jobs pay nearly enough to support a family on.  Seriously, Penn Yan.

What used to be here?  MICHAELS-STERN & CO.: Was a clothing company, employing many people in Penn Yan.  They closed their doors in the late 1970's.

Penn Yan Express was once a thriving trucking business in Penn Yan, NY.  No more.  

Penn Yan Boats, no more.   Left, taking jobs from Penn Yan. 

We once had a nice Super Duper grocery store, now since its closing, we have nothing there but an abandoned building, hoping for a buyer.  Good luck there.

Lowns was once a very nice department store in Penn Yan, then it became a nice place of booths to buy charming items.  Wonderful place for tourists to shop too.  No more.

Since 1970 I've seen businesses dwindle in Penn Yan, housing prices reach sky high, and no more affordable places, especially houses to rent that might attract families wanting to raise kids here.  Sad, but true.  No wonder Penn Yan school enrollment is fading.  In 1970 there were so many families raising kids here the school district ended up building several elementary schools.  Now the Branchport one was sold to some business that simply neglects the grounds and cannot seem to mow their grass.  That business has ruined the once immaculate grounds.  Nothing but a weed patch lives there these days.  

In the 1990's you could, any given day in summer, go to Red Jacket Park and it would be teeming with multiple families. cooking out, swimming and people actually boating on Keuka Lake.  Now, any given day, anytime of year, and the parks are all but dead, devoid of families doing anything anymore.  So sad.  There is a new building that says: Penn Yan Tourism on it sitting next to a park that contains no tourists anymore.  

Penn Yan is a nice town, but the powers that be here have no clue how to attract families with kids anymore.  They do not even know how to attract jobs that pay enough to pay your rent or even buy food.  So sad.  What happened, Penn Yan?

If you think you will become Lake Placid, well, I sincerely doubt you will.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Say what? I wasn't listening

I love this Maya Angelou saying because it really does sum up every parent out there.  Kids never come with instructions so, each of us, as parents, struggle through life never knowing if we are doing the right thing or not.  Parenting can be overwhelming for all of us at times.  As parents, I think one of our biggest frustrations is trying to help our adult kids to keep from making the exact same mistakes we made.  Yes, yes, experience tells us it's a losing battle.

This feat is much, much easier said then done.  It also makes me laugh when my adult kids say to me: "But my kids just never listen to me."  My response is always: "Well you never listen to me, so why do you think your kids will be any different?"  Yet we somehow do think our next generation will be different, only to discover they are not.  

As adults we like to always think our parents didn't raise us right anyway.  We grow up and think we will raise our kids much, much better, then reality sets in once the kids come along.  You know reality?  It's that shit that gets in our way and kind of crushes our good intentions sometimes.  When we are teens we think: "I'll let my kid go to that all night party with people I don't know.  Geesh, parents are so not trusting of my judgement."   LOL  

We are survivors of the shit creek experiences we've lived through.  We probably didn't listen to our parents either.  Why?  Well we all think our parents grew up with dinosaurs.  So they are prudes, not with it, olden times junk, where they were prudes.  They never thought about sex, drugs or rock and roll.  They were born grownup and just are out of touch with what young people experience.

Some kids as adults, like to be martyrs.  For instance, if they go through a difficult divorce, they think they are the only ones who have ever experienced heartbreak.  The only ones who struggled as single parents.  After all, each generation thinks it invented sex and love.  What we, as parents, did in our spare time, I have no idea.  Like for example, me, myself. I never had a bad divorce.  I never had to leave my once home with only the things I could carry.  I never moved into my first apartment, with two little kids, having no furniture, not even one bed.  I guess if we parents were never in love, our kids must think we simply had some kind of bad business deal just to set up housekeeping until it failed.  

Somehow, adult kids have the notion that we, as parents, are bound to always try to ruin their lives, especially with advice.  They think we have anything but their best intentions at heart.  I guess we are cruel people, we just never knew it till the adult kids come along.  Yet, somehow, they do think a bad boyfriend, girlfriend, or bad spouse, always has their back and always have their best intentions at heart.  In high school they always think their peers, the ones no older than they are, with no more experience than they have,must have better information about life.  Information that usually turns out to be false, simply because friends have lived no longer. 

You know, we, as parents probably hate their choices for partners, just because they picked them.  LOL  Whenever we give advice, we just don't understand their situations, even though we have been in similar situations and know what the outcome will be.  I'm always shocked because do I have to step in front of a truck on the highway to know I can be hurt or killed?  I sincerely hope not, yet adult kids have to toss themselves under that bus in order to understand that fact.  Why do they do it?  Well, that is the age old question.  

Remember, as parents, you just didn't live.  You simply sat in a corner, you were model kids and never, never did anything wild in your lives.  Wow  I think our parents just might have a different opinion on how we acted as kids.  LOL

"AS kids we think our parents are always on our backs.  When, in fact, they were probably the only ones who ever truly had our backs."  Author Unknown

Thursday, February 2, 2017

I am old lady

                           Available on: Amazon, Kindle and 

Yes, I will admit I'm not a spring chick anymore.  When I arose this morning, I was able to wander around my house at five in the morning.  I turned on my computer, made a pot of coffee and played with my cats.  I was able to look out my window to see what kind of a day it was going to be and I pretty much was able to 'do my own thing,' as they say.

It may not sound like such a big deal, but if you are living in a traditional nursing home, believe me, this kind of freedom is as 'big of a deal' as you're going to get.  I wasn't made to get out of bed at six in the morning, I chose to get up at five and if I didn't want to get up, I didn't have to.  In a nursing home you will be forced to get out of bed for breakfast at six in the morning. Why?  Well it's always, always for staff convenience.  

When I was a nurse aide, I was told:  'We have to get them up and ready because the day shift will get mad if we don't.'  So screw the day shift is my response.  The day shift has 'so much to do already.'  So?  They get paid for their efforts. (Even though I know nurse aids don't get paid near enough for all they do)  I have worked the day shift and yes, people have appointments, they need breakfast and it's pretty busy.  But that still doesn't warrant dragging my old ass out of bed at that god awful hour, especially since all night I've probably already been poked and prodded, so now I've had very little sleep.  No wonder I'd be groggy and upset at being drug from my warm bed. The night shift people would hurriedly dress those old people, all the while saying: "Come on, we have to be in the dining room shortly."  Many elderly balk at being hurried.  Hell, you'd think they had some damned job to get to, instead of paying big bucks to be hurried and shuffled to the dining room like so much cattle.  Traditional nursing homes are full of damned rules.  Rules that, for the most part, are quite meaningless in my book. 

Once they do get into the dining room, they are greeted by nurses with med carts.  Now nowhere on any prescription bottles I've ever gotten, does it say: 'To be takes in a large group at times convenient only to nursing staff.'  My bottles say: 'To be taken at XYZ time of day.'  That medication is supposed to be individualized, for that particular patient.  But, remember, all of this is for staff convenience only.  Which pretty much assures that I'm no longer an individual.  Just part of a herd of cattle.  Kind of like when a farmer milks cows the same time, all at once, in a big group, every day. 

When it's time to shower, also for staff convenience, you will be wheeled into a stall, and the experience?  Well more akin to a car wash than any showers I take in my home.  That Big shower wand, it gets lifted from its holder and a waterfall of water is washed over your head, your face,your eyes, your body.  I'm sure this might be how water boarding feels like.  Getting old and showering, equals torture.  Now imagine, if you will, you have dementia and have no idea what's going on.  I'm sure you would be combative too.

Today I'm going to the local store to pick up some things I need.  In a nursing home, especially the one I worked at as a Social Worker, a place that doesn't even own a van for such trips; that is also a big deal.  That nursing home feels it's too big of an expense to have a van to take people to the stores.  Too expensive to own, even though that facility, as all nursing homes, rake in billions of dollars.  But, gosh, don't spend any of those big bucks on people living there.  

So as you go about your day, just think of all the little freedoms you are enjoying.  Remember, those freedoms will evaporate if you have to ever live in a traditional nursing home. 

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Mommy, I miss you

                                My Mom and Dad's fiftieth 

My parents picture on their fiftieth anniversary.  The title of this blog probably fits many children who no longer have their moms in their lives.  I loved my Dad very much, but, as a girl, I have to admit, I was much closer to my Mom than my Dad.  I was 'adopted' by my grandparents, but they ARE my Mom and Dad always because it takes More than giving birth to a child to be Mom.  Experts like to say: "psychological parent' and I, for one, know exactly what that means.  The Mom who held you, nursed you when you were sick and who hugged you and went to school functions, even when she knew it might be boring, but acted like you were a genius, is the Mom you have in your head and heart, forever.

I was just 31 years old when my Mom died.  I always thought I'd have her forever, or at least much longer, but didn't.  This picture of their anniversary is and always will be, special to me.  Not just because it was their anniversary, but also because This day started me on a personal journey.  A journey of finally growing into the woman I am today.  A strong, confident woman who finally likes who she has become. 

I didn't know this day was going to be the day I started to grow, personally, spiritually, and more maturely but it was.  How?  Well I had a horrible first marriage.  I was married to that creep when this picture was taken.  My ex, at the time, always tried to drive a wedge between me and my parents.  Little did I know, I wouldn't allow that from anyone. Frankly, anyone who tries to do that, is a shit of a human being, much less a shit of a spouse.  This day of celebration, my ex tried to tell me I could not go there.  He was, of course as always, too busy to ever attend anything with his family.  A family he never appreciated and he never deserved anyway.  My first three kids were little.  I dressed them got in my car and we went to this special day that I knew would never happen again and was determined my kids and I would attend.  I will forever cherish this picture of them till the day I die.  When the kids and I got home, the jerk ex was waiting to pick a fight over it.  This was probably the first time I decided to tell my ex to kiss my ass.  I was close to Mom and he, nor anyone else was going to keep me from her or from Dad.  By standing my ground, my ex (sociopath that he was), realized he wasn't going to control my every move anymore.  I slowly began to mature as a woman and was from then on, headed on a path of being myself.

My Mom's funeral was the second milestone to telling my ex to kiss my ass.  He was never there for me emotionally or otherwise as he was too busy being a big baby all his life.  When I saw, once again, what a worthless husband he was, I started to loathe him as a person.  More and more each day, until I finally got divorced.  BTW, my wedding was not the happiest day of my life, the day my divorce was final was. 

Most of us miss our moms, especially during trying times in life.  Another time was when my Dad died.  No one to comfort me over that, so I suffered alone pretty much.  When my Dad died, then a few short weeks later, I realized how half my brother's and sisters were shit human beings too.  Funny, you think family can be trusted, it can be true, until it's not.  There were three out of a slew of us kids, 8 to be exact, that I could trust.  The rest were greedy and I brushed off and over 40 years time I have cared not one iota what has happened to them and never will.  Sad, but a parent's death tends to bring out the worst in too many families.  Many people find this out the hard way.

Yet another time I missed my Mom was when I got divorced.  Yes it was the shittiest of marriages.  But divorce is hard, you grieve just like someone or something died.  It's because something has died.  Why I grieved is because I realized he was never then, nor ever going to be, a decent parent.  He never was a decent husband, so you grieve for the lost hopes you once had that he would become, at the very least, a decent human being.  That never happened either. I missed my Mom because I wanted, in the trying times, to hug her, to tell her I hurt, to talk to her and have the one person in my life, who, up to that point, would tell me how she loved me unconditionally, as her daughter, as her child.

I missed her when the two youngest kids and I moved into an apartment with no furniture.  I wanted her to assure me I'd be strong and would be alright. We were OK, but it was a hard, rough road, yet it made me a stronger person, a person who would show empathy forever for other humans who hurt.  

The next time I missed her terribly, was when my ex (shit person that he was) went to school and took my youngest son to his house, refusing to let me see him until we went to family court, which was more than three months later. Family court is a nightmare in itself.  Assholes like him Never deserve a decent wife nor kids anyway.  That abuser (what Kind of a decent father would use his kid to punish mom anyway?) decided to sue me for custody.  I fought him in court and won.  It's made me a stronger person in life.  Hatred of another person tends to do that for you.

Mommy, I went on to college to become a Social Worker.  I was determined to do that because I knew from the empathy you always taught me, I could be a good Social Worker and I was and am. Mommy I wished you could have been at my wedding to my present husband.  A husband you would be proud of for a son-in-law.  A man who loves me unconditionally, just as I am (something the first husband never did) a husband who treats me so special I'm happy every day of my life now for the past 19 years.  Mommy I miss you more than you'll ever know.

Mommy I never knew how hard it was to be a mom until I raised my own kids.  They don't come with instructions and we All have to learn it and wing it as best we can.  You weren't a perfect parent, Mom, but I now realize you had a tough job and did the best you could and you filled any voids I had as a kid, with much, much love.  Mommy, my own kids know I was never perfect.  But I hope they know I couldn't love them more.  They too, Mommy, don't listen to my advice, as I'm sure, I didn't listen to yours always either.  But now some of my kids have kids who don't listen to them either.  I guess we all have to learn the hard way, they might not ever know we, as Mom's, only want the best for them and we only give advice to save them from the heartaches we have been through.  I'm convinced saving them from heartaches as adults is next to impossible anyway.  But I love them unconditionally too, as you did me.  May my kids forgive me for once being young, scared, inexperienced at this Mom thing and one day understand I Never meant to hurt them, if I did.