Some people are simply toxic, toxic to your life, to your existence, to your very soul. There's no getting around it. Every time I look at 'stop child abuse' or 'stop domestic violence' slogans in the world, on streets posting banners and signs, on the news and on social media, I have to feel a bitterness right to my toes. A bitterness that I know people should not feel, but it is there and always will be. We are told not to hate, but how do you stop a train from running?
The idea that domestic violence and even child abuse, has always existed in our society, is a very new notion. Family violence wasn't even recognized until pretty recently. You may think it's been recognized for a long time now, but it hasn't. We still live in a society in America, where it is still very slow to help people who are abused at home. Why, you ask? Well, no one likes to think a person's home is dangerous. People like to think home is where you escape from outside problems. People get uncomfortable because they know it very well could be them and not the other person who is abused in their own home, a place that is supposed to be our sanctuary. Not only does society feel uncomfortable, but your own family scatters, most of the time and does not help you and when family turns a blind eye, well,you get to know who your real family is. Many times your real family members are not your blood relatives.
To make matters worse, people out in the big scheme of things, including some family members, will say: "Gee, he/she didn't seem all that bad." When you hear that shit, always remember, they didn't live with that bitch or son of a bitch. You have to remember they are pretty damned clueless as a group. Remember too, that most abusers are very good at not acting like the assholes they are at home because friends walk away. Harder for their spouses and kids to walk because fear is their primary weapon. Blaming their spouses and kids for their problems is also a big part of their sick, twisted plans to keep you in control. Because for every abuser, control is the name of the game. Even, for many, once control of their spouse has ended, they then turn their attention and lust for control to their kids. Kids, especially when young, are a captive audience and those sick assholes have to control someone, or else their amusement has vanished. So, quite often, husbands or wives who have been the abusers, will use their own kids as pawns.
How do they accomplish that? By raising the kids to believe their mom or dad is the horrible one. Even though the toxic parent is the reason the innocent party had to leave, sick twisted people have to gain control of someone. Woe to the kid who endures this hatred because it feeds the abuser's ego and lust for control. Often, even when grown and they are able to look at things objectively, that grown kid has been so brainwashed by the toxic parent, the kid refuses to act like an adult and investigate if mom or dad was wrong. After all, those kids have been raised to choose sides. Those kind of awful parents are the worst, because they have too feed their evil thirst for control of someone.
Too often a grown kid goes through life saying" "I hold a grudge against mom/dad because they weren't always around." Grow up, Kid. The reason your mom/dad weren't around is because the parent who brainwashed you, made life a living hell anytime they tried to be in your lives. So, again, grow up. Act like an adult and do not judge until you have taken time to know the parent who was driven off by sick, twisted mom/dad in the first place. That toxic parent who raised you is thinking: "I hate my ex for not putting up with my sick shit, so our kids should hate him/her too and take my sick side."