Thursday, November 15, 2012

Families and such

With the holidays coming up I tend to start to reflect on families this time of year.  Many people have great parenting experiences, yet some of us do not.  I could say I'm not sure why this is, but in our case, that would be a lie.  

When you have lived in an abusive household, with a parent who is mentally ill, one of the casualties is usually the children.  When a child has a parent who is absent, who does not care for their own kids, then kids cannot help but be affected in some ways.  When a crazy parent actually resides in the household, it also hurts the child or children.  As much as we, the not so crazy parent, may think we can shield and protect our kids, it isn't possible.  Craziness rubs off in ways we may not even fully understand.

What does this blog have to do with books?  Well I am writing a book about relationships, why bad ones are bad and about how for the past 14 years, I have seen the other side.  Moved beyond the dark side of a relationship, moved into the light of love and the fun of having an understanding and loving husband.  I am fortunate to have found him, but, unfortunately it was later in life.  Better late than never, in my case, but I wish with all my heart, I'd found him, or been wise enough to spot the duds I once thought I loved.

What in hell do we know in our twenties?  I don't know, maybe I'd have known more if my own upbringing had been different.  I don't blame my grandparents who raised me, but they were getting older as I grew older.  Their goal was to marry me off, as Grandma often said.  So I felt pressure to marry young.

I know many young women feel this pressure, even though we might like to think we are living in such an enlightened age.  But remember, people and human nature stay the same, only times and the tools we use change.  

The next blog will address how we, as young women,and often, young men too, think we know about life, know more than our elders, even know more than those scenarios we actually see.  You know what I'm talking, our very friends who have bad relationships, they often reflect our own we are in.  Yet, somehow, for some reason we still think 'ours will be different.'   Usually we repeat the same thing we see and hate, we walk straight into the fires of hell with our eyes wide shut!